Monday, November 12, 2007

An Open Letter to My ADULT CHILDREN

Hey guys, remember this? Way back last February, when you were oh so much much younger than you are now, I nicely requested that you go easy with the towels -- meaning that you don't use a new one for each and every shower, dumping it on the floor of your room while it's wet, until there's eventually a pile of wet, mildewed towels in your room and none left in the linen cabinet.

Remember that?

Obviously NOT, because this is what I gathered from your rooms this morning:

(And Elisabeth, lest you think you're exempt because you don't officially live here... how wrong you are! You're among the worst offenders, insisting that it's "gross" to dry your clean body with a dry, clean towel that's been set aside for you only!)

Ya know what, guys? You're awesome regarding the BIG things that matter, like working hard at school and being good friends and living your lives with maturity and responsibility. Really, in those areas I have no complaints. You truly ROCK and I am well aware how lucky we all are to get along so well, to laugh together so often, and to be able to be so open and honest with each other about things that many families can't even begin to talk about. And I love the fact that tonight, for example, all eight of us (Peter and Elisabeth with SOs) will be together for an impromptu pot roast dinner.

But please! Please, please, please guys -- make some concerted effort to conserve towels (and thus gas and electricity, not to mention my time and energy) so we don't have this once a week:

(That's a photo of 26 -- count 'em, TWENTY-frikkin-SIX washed, dried and folded towels!)

And since begging and pleading obviously hasn't worked, Mom has decided to institute a new RULE (yeah, I know -- you thought my only two rules were never drink and drive and if you're gonna have sex, have responsible sex):

From now on, no towels are to be taken from the bathroom.
You can bring clothes or a robe into the bathroom with you, or you can run back to your room stark naked for all I care, but from now on NO towels are to leave any bathroom! EVER!

(And should you assume that there will be an endless supply of towels in the linen closet from now on, as there has been until now, how very wrong you are!)

I don't care if you're all over 18. If you break my new rule I will... um, I will GROUND YOU! (I'm still your mom, even if you're adults, so I reserve the right to discipline as I see appropriate.) And if your friends ask why you're grounded, you won't be telling them anything about a curfew or lying to your parents or about some dire run-in with the cops.

Oh no. Instead you'll hang your head in shame and tell your friends that your mama grounded you because you didn't respect her rule about the towels!

And really, is that a shame that you're ready and willing to face?

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Anonymous said...

I read that one aloud to my entire family. Amen sister!

Jen said...

LOL, Carol! For my DS it's that he wears his jeans ONCE and then dumps them in the laundry. Sheesh. And I don't mean dirt-stained jean from a hard day of exercising or traipsing through streams or whatever - I mean plain old, sit-at-a-school-desk all day jeans.

Anonymous said...

They'd be wet and bare-assed in my house, because the self-filling linen closet would have been empty long ago. They're adults..give them a washing machine tutorial and have done.

Carol said...

I haven't done my kids' laundry for years, but it's true that I've ended up doing towels. I've been way too nice when it comes to washing towels! But NO MORE! (They're already hidden!)

I am mama, hear me ROAR! (Am I scary enough?)


EuroTrippen said...

Oh, Robbie is SO guilty of this! She has to have a clean towel for her hair and another for her body... and sometimes (for reasons I can't quite understand) an extra towel gets thrown in just for the heck of it.

Water & electricity are expensive here in Germany!!

jen said...

so funny carol. My mom solved this problem by first making me wash, dry and fold the towels and then as i moved out, the boys had to do the towels. And we had a housekeeper who was forbidden from doing the towels so that my mom could teach us.

Goofball said...

Oooh I remember your first rant in March. didn't you already hide towels back then?

As a outsider this is soooo funny to read...probably not for you as much though.

I hope they truly learn quickly now!

Rositta said...

Geesh, I wish I had the nerve to write such a post for my adult son and DIL to read. Not only do they do the same with towels but when they visit they leave their stuff lying all over the house. I just want to toss it all into a garbage bag and throw it out, that would teach them wouldn't it?...ciao

Blog Antagonist said...

This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves!!!

If I didn't have children, I would have three towels to wash each week. Husband uses his ginormous bath towel every day, I use one towel for my hair (it's very, very thick and really needs one) and one for my body. We hang them up, they dry, we use them again. All week.

My children, however, use at least one a day, if not more and THEN they dump them in their dirty clothes basket where they mildew and get all the other clothes mildewy.

Drives me INSANE. I'm going to have to institute your rule, I think.

mks said...

Just had to say I loved this post!

Anonymous said...

I have to admit that I am one of those crazy people that has to use a clean towel every day. Goes back to my childhood, I guess, when all five of us had to share one towel (wich my Mother washed every day, though).

Anonymous said...

thanks mom! now i'm all embarrassed for my uncleanliness.

ps- i did help to wash and fold!! :)

Gypsy at heart said...

Having lived through that phase of my children's lives (and now dealing with visiting grandchildren), I have a suggestion. Get them 1-2 towels with their names on them, so that is all they have avaialble.
Oddly enough, it was my daughter who led me to your post because she recognized the similarity.
Hmmmm....that gives me an idea for a the next few days....

Gypsy at heart said...

I couldn't resist . Your post prompted my post....enjoy

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