Showing posts with label Cultures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cultures. Show all posts

Friday, June 07, 2013

“Never forget”

My 84-year-old father is a German “Mischling” (a half-Jew) and product of what the Nazis called a “privileged mixed marriage.”
By the time Dad was the age of my twins, 23, he had experienced more tragedy, more near-death experiences, more hunger, and more trauma than most people will experience in their lifetimes. 
Dad’s father Carl was Jewish, but my father was brought up in a Christian household.  Carl considered himself a German.  Not a German Jew and not a Jew.  He was simply a German.  And he married another German, my grandmother, Irmgard.
As it turns out, Irmgard, by her sole existence as a Gentile, shielded her family from early persecution by the Nazis because the Nazis really hadn’t decided what to do about the “half-Jewish question,” those Jews who lived among Germans, married Germans, were part of the German communities, but were Jewish “by blood.”   (You can learn more about this topic in the excellent movie “Conspiracy.”)
Irmgard began to have excruciating headaches in the early 1940s.  She assumed it was the pressure of war.  Certainly she must have also felt intense personal pressure, knowing that the survival of her Jewish husband and half-Jewish children depended on her sheer existence.  In January of 1944, Irmgard died of what turned out to be a brain tumor.  At that point, all hell broke loose for my grandfather and his three children, my father and his brother Rainer and sister Ulli.
Ulli was sent to live with her cousin in Garmisch-Partenkirchen in the mountains of Bavaria, while my father, only 15, and his older brother Rainer were left to fend for themselves.  My father was sent to a Nazi labor camp.
In March of 1945, just a short month before the end of the war, my father had been allowed to leave the camp by day to work at a warehouse.  As it turns out, the warehouse proprietor had been smuggling cigarettes, chocolate and liqueur and knew he was about to be caught. 
On March 5, 1945, my father’s hometown of Chemnitz was bombed.  Total chaos reigned during those last days and weeks of the war and my father was allowed by the kindly  (or maybe just apathetic) proprietor to head home to take care of matters.  (“Just be back on Tuesday,” he said.)  After days of traveling by any means possible (which meant mostly walking, as the German infrastructure at that point was in complete shambles), my father came upon his beloved childhood home.
What had once looked like this…
Heumann house before bombing CU
…now looked like this:
Heumann house after bombing
My father, then only 16-years-old, made his way through the rumble and found his beloved father’s body.
Now, in his 84th year, my father passes on two stories and two mementos (though that’s too trivial a word here) from that day to his two grandsons, Peter and Aleks.  I have already posted about his gift to Peter, bequeathed just a few weeks ago:
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“Dear Peter,
I have decided to pass on to some of you grandchildren things that mean something to me, and that come with a story that must be told. As “Muttchen,” my pseudo-mother used to say: I want to do so “with warm hands.”
It was in March of 1945, just weeks before the end of the war.  I was 16.  My mother had already died.  I was put into a slave labor camp for “half-Jews,” as they called us.
Now Chemnitz, my home town, had just gotten the same kind of “terror attack,” as the Nazis called it, as Dresden had suffered weeks earlier.   My boss, where I had been assigned from the labor camp, was most understanding, if most secretive, about it.
“Go,” he said.  “Check out what happened.  Just be back by Tuesday at the latest.”  Of course there was no telephone, no other news, no transportation.  Only chaos everywhere.  One just had to make do, somehow.
Our house had been burned out, turned from a burned ruin into mostly rubble.  I found my father’s body in the boiler room, caught in the space between the floor and the furnace, one leg dangling, clearly broken.
My father’s body was the only one in the big ruin.  I was told later that when the house was on fire everyone got out, including him.  Then he had to crawl back into the basement to retrieve a small suitcase with Romanticist art that he was working on.  His whole life now had been his art collection; he just HAD to get those pieces.  In that moment an explosive bomb hit the house, ending his life, making the three of us orphans.
After escaping the Nazis for a dozen years, now, two short months before the final defeat of Nazi Germany, he was killed by an Allied bomb.  Just what the Nazis had always wanted.  But any war does that: produce tragic ironies like this, a thousand times over, everywhere.
My dad was wearing a suit, vest, and tie.  He was a very formal person and would not be seen in anything but “proper dress,” not even at night in the air raid shelter in his own basement.  When I found him, he still had his metal-rimmed glasses on, one side broken.  His fingers were apart, indicating that he had not suffered.
I knew there must be one thing he was forced by law to always have on him – his ID card, with the big letter “J” to identify him immediately as a Jew, with the forced name of “Israel” added.  I took it and I still have that infamous ID.
He was wearing his diamond tie pin so that his tie would be orderly and in place where it belonged.  I took it.  Years later, in Munich, in peace, I designed a ring for myself and had the diamond of my father’s tie pin mounted in it.
That ring is what I give to you today.  Today, when wearing it, I know that what had meaning to me was not my father’s dying as much as his death.  I knew then that his most romantic, often-quoted motto would somehow follow me: Goethe’s most utopian idea that “life, however it may be, is good.”  He, a Jew under the Nazis, persecuted, with two sons in Nazi slave labor camps, through all the chaos, kept this idealized faith.  And for years it gave me the strength I needed to shape the path of my own life, without parental guidance.
With love,  Opa”
And here is what Opa bequeathed upon Aleks, given to him this past weekend during our family reunion:

Aleks reading the letter from Opa which accompanied his–official papers as a Mischling German-Jew as well as his father’s Nazi-issued ID card, denoting him Carl Israel Heumann.
Opening the package…
This is what Opa wrote to Aleks:
Dear Alex –
I have decided to pass on to you grandchildren things that mean something to me, and that come with a story that must be told. As “Muttchen”, my vice mother, used to say: I want to do so “with warm hands.”
Of all my grandchildren, you have been the one with the greatest interest in history and historical events. Therefore, the papers I treasure most of my historical documents will be yours to keep and pass on, eventually. There is, first of all, my father’s “Kennkarte,” the identification everybody in Germany had to carry at all times. (I still do today, and not only my drivers license. out of habit.) In 1934, the Nazis issued the Nürnberger Gesetze which were really not laws at all, but party dictates. Among other edicts, they ruled that Jews from then on had to be identified by the middle (actually first) name “Israel” for men, “Sarah” for women. Jews were defined by race, not religion. By “law”, my father had to always identify himself, especially in official transactions, as “Israel Carl Heumann”, not as “Carl Heumann” or, as had been most common, as “Konsul Heumann.” That way, the official would know exactly what kind of degenerate he was dealing with. Not identifying oneself as such was a felony. In official papers, he was called “der Jude Heumann”. I took this ID from his body which I found in the basement of the ruin of our house in 1945. Don’t forget: the Nazis were most German, most bureaucratic. In 1938, Hermann Goering, in the second line of the Nazi hierarchy, decided on a classification of “privileged mixed marriages” between Jews and Gentiles whose offspring were not raised in the Hebrew religion. Those Jews were subject to the same mistreatments as other Jews, except they were not deportated into camps, until the end of the War. That’s why both my father and we kids were living ostensibly as Christians.
The “Party” was going to deal with the problems of “Half-Jews” after they “had won the war”. Meanwhile, they needed Half-Jews as workers. The document package you are getting also has a three-language paper, issued in June 1945, my most important ID right after the war, saying I was kept in the Slave Labor Camp until April 1945. Also included are documents showing my dismissal from High School in 1943, and an affidavit that I had been a very good guy all along before being kicked out, and also documentation of my freedom from tuition fees at the Technical University in Munich.
Fortunately life has returned to be more normal. Here are a couple of things that we were able to rescue after the war: a silver bowl belonging to my parents, and a set of ice cream server and spoons we used as children at home.
May times like my parents lived through never happen again!
With love, Opa
This is what now belongs to Aleks and will certainly be passed on to his children someday, who will pass it to their own children…
My grandfather’s Nazi ID card.  Note that he is identified as “Israel Carl Heumann.”  The name "Israel” was mandated by the Nazis.
Carl Heumann Nazi ID card - side 1Carl Heumann Nazi ID card - side 2
Affidavit of “total destruction by bombing” of my father’s home:
Certificate of total bombing destruction of home March 1945
Certificate of free tuition and monthly stipend because of Nazi persecution. 
Certificate for free tuition and monthly stipend - page 1
Certificate regarding my father’s detention in a Nazi labor camp.  (In three languages… it reads “Herr Thomas Heumann, born on… was detained in the labor camp for Jewish relatives in-law of Munzig and set free on 27 April 1945. Chemnitz, 27.6.1945. Neues Rathaus.”)
Certificate of labor camp detention 1945
Certificate of release from public school in March, 1943, as well as other education-oriented documents:
Certificate of release from public school March 1943Thomas' academic info - Chemnitz, 1940 and Munich, 1950
My father has been hesitant about allowing me to post about his past, not wanting to “draw attention” to himself  and his past.  But he has relented a bit recently.  Partially, I think, because he is now looking more at the historical importance of his experience, and partially because… well, I’ve been a pest about it, trying to convince him that the Internet will not “turn on him.”
And, sadly, I think that he is also resigning himself to the inevitability of his own passing and the importance of keeping the story of what happened in World War II alive and personalized to specific human experiences.

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Saturday, April 03, 2010

Oh, to be 20 and full of choices

This from the grandson of European immigrants (my parents) who came to America in search of a better life:

[7:39:15 AM] Aleks: im really happy here. im not the slightest bit home sick or burnt out or anything, its really strange. i love it here so much right now and the ease in which i assimilate around europe i still just want to stay.

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And that grandfather’s response when I told him how much Aleks likes living in Prague:

I'm so glad he feels the way he does.  Encourage it.  He's lapping up the whole newness of things.  Prague was at the crossroads of Europe centuries before Columbus was born, he's feeling that in his bones, and it's too exciting to feel homesick.  So great that he's even learning the language.  I have the feeling this trip will be very instrumental in the direction  his life will take.  Try not to talk him into being homesick just to please you.

What Aleks needs is fall in love with a girl who keeps him in Europe for a while. (Just kidding!!)

My parents immigrated to America from Germany in 1953.  At that time America had such promise and Germany was reeling from a lost war and lost identity.  Because of their bold choice to leave everything they knew behind, their children were raised in prosperous country during a time when opportunities were endless and hope and optimism permeated absolutely everyone and everything.  (Hell, we grew up in Berkeley in the 60’s, so hope and optimism lived in our bones!)

But things are different in America now. Instead of the land of opportunity, we live in what seems to be the land of dashed dreams and gridlocked politics.  Without getting all political on you, I’ll just say that I am appalled that it took us so long to pass legislation that takes care of ALL Americans and I’m floored that anyone (anyone!) would vote against a bill that gives every Americans what seems to me to be a simple and fundamental right: health care.  We’ve become greedy and egotistical and grouchy and I think that if we continue down this road (in spite of having a great president who wants to bring about positive change for all but is constantly road-blocked for the sole sake of road-blocking), the glory years for America will be very, very short-lived in historical terms, barely half a century. 

So when Aleks talks of returning to his roots in Europe, he tugs hard on my heart strings because I’d be so sad if he moved so far away -- but at the same time I know that he must feel some of the same feelings that my dad felt in 1953 – the country of my birth is confused and weak; maybe there’s a better future for me somewhere else

Call me unpatriotic (though you’d be wrong), but quite honestly if I were twenty right now, I might very well be thinking the exact same thing.

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Saturday, November 07, 2009

Happy birthday, Laura!

Just a few months after coming to live with us in Fall 2005, Laura, our German exchange student – we like to call her our “third daughter” -- celebrated her 17th birthday with us (here with Aleks and Kat).

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Today Laura turns 21!  Has it really been five years?  My current home office is in the room Laura lived in, which we still call “Laura’s room" and probably always will, even though it’s also been Kat’s room and Elisabeth’s room.

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Mount Rainier (26)

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We just called Laura who was busy celebrating with friends in Freiburg, Germany where she’s currently in medical school.  When we talk with her, it’s as if no time has passed, but I’m sure the day will come when Laura calls to tell us that she’s getting married… or having babies… or that her kids are going off to college.  I just hope we’ll stay as close through all those years.

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Some of my Facebook friends have been asking what we use to make the spaeztle that we cooked last night and that I mentioned on my status update.  Slight coincidence here: we use (and love!) the spaeztle maker given to us by Laura’s family for Christmas, 2005.

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Happy birthday, Laura!  Come back soon!  We love you and miss you!

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Speechless and in awe

I am sitting here all lumpy-throated.  Sometimes the phenomenal human mind and the indomitable human spirit absolutely choke me up. 

(Some context: This work of art/performance is inspired by the invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941 and the enormous military and civilian deaths in WW2 -- which were about 20-25 million. The Ukraine was laid to ruins in the fighting that ensued.)

Thanks to Marco for sending this to me!

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A tour through my “Old Pictures” folder

A few years ago my brother Michael amassed photos of our parents’ young lives as well as of our shared childhood.  He created CDs for my parents and siblings that year and gave them to us for Christmas. Although I didn’t fully appreciate it at the time, I’ve come to covet this CD.

This might be totally yawn-producing for you, but hey – it’s today’s post.  Bear with me, enjoy, or click the X… it’s totally up to you!

 campsite2

This is my parents’ campsite from the early 50’s, before I was born.  Not sure if it was in Germany or America; I’d guess America. Look at the car!

and see all the people!

This is my (ever so foxy, dontcha think?!) dad, playing the “Church and Steeple” finger game with my brother Michael.  Dad is now almost 81 and Michael is 57.

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This is Mom blowing lederhosen-clad “Mickey-Michael’s” nose.  My parents and Michael immigrated to America in 1953 – probably shortly after this picture was taken, obviously in Germany.

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My aunt Ulli and Mom, waxing (?) their skis in Seefeld, Germany in 1952.  Interesting skis… interesting car… interesting clothes!

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This is my mom’s uncle, Willi Merkl, who died climbing in the Hamalayas in the early 30s.  There’s a street named after him in Traunstein, Bavaria, my mom’s hometown.

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This is my dad at the age of five.  Looking at this picture, I just want to mommy him.  Now THAT is weird!

tomandedith Mom &Dad Wedding 1

These are my parents’ wedding pictures, taken in July, 1952.  At their 50th wedding anniversary, my brother insisted on doing a toast about this day because, as he says, he “was there.”  Scandalous!

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This is my maternal grandfather, Max.  He’s a damn good-looking Bavarian dude, isn’t he?!

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And this is my paternal grandfather, Carl.  He was a German-Jewish banker.  More is written about him here.  It’s a fascinating story!

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This is my dad arriving in America to begin a new life!

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This is the house I grew up in, in Berkeley.  (Before it looked like the pictures in this post…)

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This my mom graduating from Cal in 1968, amid massive riots and student activism.  It was a very different place in 2006 when Elisabeth graduated from Cal!

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This is me with my three brothers, in about 1962.  (Yes, the same brothers as in this picture…

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…taken last month!)

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Here we are again, conserving water.

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This picture of me must have been taken before I was 18 months old.  How do I know that?  Because I still had two thumbs on my right hand (look closely!).  One of those was removed when I was 18 months old – and yes, it still looks odd now and yes, I’m still self-conscious about it!

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This is one of my favorite pictures of me as a little kid because I look really happy and because I’m with my mommy.

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…as opposed to this one, in which I look kinda snooty and stuck-up!

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Here’s the question: did I wear a dirdl dress voluntarily?  Or did Mom force me to wear it?  I don’t remember… so that must mean I wasn’t traumatized by it, right?

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There’s another dirdl!  I must have been traumatized!

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My mom loved this photo.  One year, about 10 years ago,  she even gave a copy of it to all her kids for Christmas!  Isn’t it odd that she’s the only one who looks really good in it?

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Fast forward a few years…

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…and a WHOOOOLE lot more… like 30 more.  Until after Mom died and Dad fell in love with Lou (whom I adore too) -- and we are still proud to call ourselves a family.

And really, it’s ALL happened in just a proverbial blink of an eye.

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Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Of Bangles and Henna

Just days before evil came to Mumbai, there was great happiness in that city...

(It's another guest post! This time by Marco, another co-worker in our Mumbai office, another person I have yet to meet in person but already love and adore. As we were working online the other night, Marco told me that his cousin got married over the weekend -- and of course I wanted to hear ALL about it! Marco was kind enough to write a full blog post (in Live Writer, even!) for my blog! I am forever grateful to Marco, his cousin Rebecca, and all the wonderful people at Rebecca and Ashwin's wedding. Please do leave a comment and let them know what you think.)

My cousin Rebecca got married recently. She's among the younger ones in our reasonably large group of fourteen cousins (that's just from my mom's side!). Over the last three years, there has been at least one big wedding in the family each year, but what made this one so special was the fact that it was defined by so many wonderful occasions and traditions.

India is a land of timeless traditions. And at significant times in people's lives (weddings, most definitely), they get grander and more spectacular than ever. My cousin Rebecca was born and brought up Catholic, and grew up with Goan traditions (of course, being in Mumbai, she's a thoroughly cosmopolitan woman of the world). Her husband Ashwin is Hindu and has a wonderfully diverse background--his father is originally from Kashmir (in North India), and his mother is British. With their union being such an amazing confluence of backgrounds, the four days that preceded the wedding were obviously marked with a riot of colors, tastes, sights and sounds that only the diversity of the Indian subcontinent can offer! It is with a huge sense of pride that I share the experience of the typical, modern, diverse, yet traditional Indian wedding.

The Roce
The 'Roce' (rhymes with 'dose'), is a ceremony typically observed by the Catholics in India from the Goa and Mangalore region. This ceremony is primarily a blessing for the bridal couple and is traditionally conducted separately at the bride's and groom's home. With Rebecca and Ashwin's wonderfully mixed backgrounds, both sides celebrated this tradition together at the bride's home.

It all starts with the Bangle ceremony, where the bride and the other women in the family are made to wear bangles while an elder women (our ever-shining 87-year-old Oma, in this photo) sings traditional Goan songs called 'Mandos'. These songs speak of blessings for the bride, the groom and their families. DSC_4840
The 'bangle man' is specially chosen because he brings the multi-colored glass bangles specially from Goa. He has been present at the Roce of my aunts, all the way down to the cousins, and has been doing this for over 50 years! Interestingly he hasn't aged a day, as far as I can remember! DSC_4833
The ceremony takes place on a mattress where the bangle man displays the different colored ornaments, while each of the girls in the family take turns sitting in front of him as he helps them put on their bangles of choice. DSC_4855
They get to select as many bangles as they want (typically between six and eight), in whichever color. It starts with the bride-to-be, who gets special green bangles with a lace inlay... DSC_4841
...followed by her mother, then her aunts... DSC_4856
...and finally the younger girls. DSC_4914
By the end of it, all the women proudly flash their bangles--a sign that there's a wedding in the family. In the bride's case, she typically doesn't remove the bangles until after the wedding. DSC_4920
Then comes the second part of the ceremony, where each member of the family blesses the bridal couple with a mixture of coconut milk, gram flour paste, and turmeric. DSC_4931
Each person applies this mixture to the couples' head and arms, as they say a silent prayer for their happiness, starting with the immediate family. DSC_4939
This ceremony can get pretty emotional and it's not rare to see the parents and the bridal couple getting overcome with nostalgia. Lots of happy tears here. DSC_4935
After the solemnity comes the fun! As the elders bless the bridal couple with the 'good' stuff, the cousins secretly prepare a concoction of icky stuff. It's not surprising to have beer, cream, eggs, flour, shaving foam and other motley ingredients in this mix! DSC_4994
The cousins and the younger folks swarm down upon the bridal couple of cover them in this batter as they gross out! Obviously, they won't be seen for at least an hour after this, because the bath will need to be extra-long! DSC_5011

The Mehndi
Rebecca's Mehndi ceremony happened the following day. This ceremony is observed all over India by different faiths and subcultures, and it consists of applying an intricate design of henna to the bride's hands and feet.

This is where the bride-to-be dresses in all her Indian finery, including the intricate jewelry and her resplendent 'sari'. DSC_5020
A group of skilled artists are specially called to apply a filigree design of henna on the bride's hands and feet. DSC_5032
Other girls can also get designs done--some choose to have them on their necks, or shoulders. DSC_5027
This process is delicate, but the artists are so adept that they can complete both hands in under five minutes! DSC_5038
In the bride's case, the process is longer and more painstaking because of the level of intricacy involved. DSC_5046
The artists even hide the bride and groom's names in the intricate design--it's fun to try and find them! DSC_5074
The final result is truly breathtaking! Go ahead and click this photo for a larger version. DSC_5092-1

... and finally the Church wedding!
Here's the glowing bride on her wedding day with her mum, dad, and younger brother.

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Let's drink to this one--to traditions, marriage, and diversity!

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