This is your PSA (public service announcement) about your PSA (prostate-specific antigen) test.

Four years ago, during the summer of 2014, I was forced to ponder the possibility of life without Tom when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. (I blogged about it previously here and here and here.)

Long story short, our Independence Day celebration in 2014 was cut short when Tom ended up at the ER with what we thought was a bladder infection. Pain meds and antibiotics didn’t touch it, so within a few days we were at a urologist’s office, where a PSA blood test revealed an abnormally high score of 49. Knowing that a score higher than 4 can signify prostate cancer, I began to panic – and research. (Tom did neither of those things which, in retrospect, was wise. Dr. Google can be terrifying!)
Three weeks after his PSA test, Tom underwent a biopsy, which revealed stage one prostate cancer. Stage ONE! Not stage four, as I had feared and researched myself into believing. I cried happy tears when the urologist told us the news – which absolutely baffled Tom who, having no idea what I had encountered in my researched, questioned why I seemed relieved. It was only then that I revealed my fears to him. So he had to get used to the idea of having cancer at all, and I could breathe a sigh of relief that he’d be around for a while, after all!

The urologist suggested removing the prostate surgically. But we decided to take some time to breathe and to get a second opinion at the University of Washington/Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, one of the top cancer centers in the country. Since the biopsy had shown that Tom’s cancer was stage one and slow-growing, he opted to take part in an “active surveillance” study through the university. Participants in this study have a PSA test once every three months and a biopsy once every 18 months to two years. Many men stay in the study for years, with little to no change in their cancer. Unfortunately, Tom won’t be among that group, as his cancer is now early stage two – still not a panic situation but, according to his current doctor, time to “look into options.” We are still confident that the cancer is well contained within the prostate, but we know that this is NOT a cancer you want to deal with once it has “escaped the capsule,” as they say. In those cases, it can be a killer.
So we are currently looking into treatment options. None of them are great, and all of them come with some degree of risk of both incontinence and impotence – though an excellent surgeon (which we have) can often spare nerves so both can be restored. (We’re too young for this!)
We feel confident that we caught this cancer early – thanks to a terrible infection four years ago. But we are still amazed that prostate cancer, the second biggest killer of men, doesn’t have the spotlight that breast cancer has for women. Men, it seems, are not routinely encouraged to have PSA tests the way women are encouraged to have regular mammograms.
Granted, the PSA is not a perfect predictor of prostate cancer, as it’s prone to false positives, but it is something!  I have begged our sons (29 and 31) to get baseline PSA tests (even asked for it for Christmas this year!) because both their grandfathers and their father had/have prostate cancer. But in my opinion, EVERY man should include a prostate screening in their regular check-ups, beginning sometime around 35-45. This means a DRE (digital rectal exam) and a PSA (blood test). I asked our PCP why this isn’t done on a routine basis and he said that most practitioners will do both tests when requested (and seriously, would the average man ask for a DRE?!), but that it just isn’t the “gold standard” at this point.
Tom and I began to mention this to our family and friends and were amazed at the number of men in their 50s, 60s and older who have never had a PSA test!
So this is our PSA regarding your PSA:
MEN: PLEASE, please, please… GET ONE!
PARTNERS: PLEASE, please, please… make sure he GETS ONE!
Rant over.

.

My father wrote this to his kids the day after Trump was elected. I had no idea…

“Hi, all of you. parents and descendants ---

NOW where are you going to emigrate to??
In 1938, ("Krystal Night", November 8) my (Jewish) father told us to keep the lights off, and windows closed, so nobody would bother us in the apparently empty  house.   The burning of the synagogue across the street, was officially the work of "Germans tired of the Jews.” It was done by "people disgusted with the Jews.”
The next day, a guy at school bragged that the night before, his big brother, an SS or SA man, was one of the people setting the synagogue on fire.  The burning of the synagogue was (to remain politically correct) “by the people people against the Jews.”  My dad told me to never ever tell anybody about what I had heard.
He wouldn't believe things could get worse. He knew he had done no wrong. He did not want to take us out of school or compromise promising careers in our future.  He would not leave his house or his language.
My entire life would have been different if he had made different decisions. 
But, of course, it IS a BIG decision, and my impression of our current situation might be totally different from how you or your kids feel.
I strongly hope I am wrong in my defensive attitude.  But I believe, now more than ever, that 2016 is now quite a bit like 1938 in Europe, when my Jewish uncles left their businesses in Berlin to go to America.
I personally could not survive moving any more – I’m getting very old now.  But I would feel bad if I failed to tell you about my own experiences and fears.  I MUST tell you, especially those of you who may have a Mexican-sounding name in their ancestry.

Now I'll shut up.
Love --   Dad”
Dad died less than four months after Trump was elected. Thank god he doesn’t have to see this. It would kill him.

The storm before the calm

This is what our house looks like right now:

Where’s the furniture, you ask? 

Right here, in the living room:

And here, in the family room (where we’re sleeping):

The bathroom is nearing completion, but still needs lighting, plumbing (as in, a toilet and faucets), a mirror (on order), a frameless glass tub surround (on order), trim, shelving in the linen closet, and a whole host of other tidbits.

 

My fear is that we’ll get this far, finish the must-haves, and then put all the finishes on hold.  That damn 85% rule!  (Many projects around here get 85% finished and then someone moves on to something new…)

When my life is topsy-turvy like this – home in disarray, career in the air, and no baths!! -- my mind can’t function well.  I can’t think clearly without an orderly physical environment.  Does that make me shallow?  (Or just German…?)

And just to cap it all off, there’s a RAT loose in the house --  one that Boo and Bailey seem to just be ignoring!  He must have been hanging out in the duct system and when those heater vents came off, he made himself at home, even helping himself to the fruit in our fruit bowl, which was the first clue of his presence.  The second being his brush by my leg as he ran by.  I thought it was a cat, until I saw him scamper away.  Eeeewwww!

Please, can we just get some ORDER around here?!

Good riddance, Bank of America!

I became a Bank of America customer in 1979.  In 2012, I will be leaving in disgust.

Until last year, we never paid regular fees for any of our accounts or any regular transactions with Bank of America.  Things whirred along nicely, just as one would expect of their bank. 

Then, the bank started crapping on us.  “Hey, thanks for being loyal customers of 30+ years.  Here are a few new fees for you!”  It seemed that any time our money came or went, there was a fee associated with it.  Yeah, that $5 debit card fee felt like the last straw, but I was too busy then to go through the hassle (and it is such a hassle!) to change banks.

Then B of A revised their website and somehow in that process, they lost or Visa account.  Oh, we still had it, but it didn’t show up online.  Easy fix, right?  Nooooo – it took me SIX hours of waiting on the phone four different times over six weeks to get that resolved.

Grrrrrr! 

That experience should have kicked me into high gear toward dumping B of A, but yeah, regular life got in the way.  And by that I mean that I was still just too lazy to go through the major hassle of moving all our accounts, changing all our auto-pays and direct deposits, and finessing the timing to go through the whole painful process.

THEN, yesterday…

I get an e-mail alert from Bank of America that Aleks had overdrawn his savings account.  (Yes, I’m connected to the kids’ accounts while they’re still in school.)  Overdrawn his savings account?  The mandatory savings account that we had to open when we opened student checking accounts for the kids?  The savings account he never touches?  How could he be overdrawn?

I called the bank.  “Yes, ma’am.  Yes, there is now a $5 fee for those savings accounts.”  (Yes, the mandatory savings accounts tied to checking accounts…)

“HUH?  I was never told that!” I complained.

“It has been indicted at the end of your monthly statement since August,” I was told.

“I went paperless in August!”

“Well, ma’am, it’s on the paperless statement too.”  Guess it’s my bad for not scrolling to the end of my online statements and reading the fine print.

Eye roll.

So… funny thing – as of yesterday, I was “allowed” to close those associated savings accounts.  Which I did.

And then I got in the car and high-tailed it to our local BECA office to open a multitude of accounts. 

I was seen immediately – though the account manager told me that I was lucky; in November and December, hundreds of people who’d been screwed over by a variety of big banks waited patiently for hours to open BECU accounts.

Within an hour, I had opened checking, savings, Visa, a LOC loan, and a money market account with BECU.  After leaving the credit union, I received calls throughout the afternoon from the account manager keeping me apprised on the results of my credit check (suckas, Bank of America, you guys lost a good customer!), reminding me what items and actions were still needed, and just letting us know how things were progressing.

Yes, it will be a pain in the butt to make this change. I’ll be busy notifying all our merchants of the change and trying to time the process just right so that… well, so that we don’t incur any FEES from Bank of America.

Good riddance, Bank of America!  You could have kept these customers of 30+ years if you wanted to.  You obviously didn’t want to.

Addendum to the United Airlines refund saga

In a follow-up to these two posts, I offer the following:

After posting a link to the above entries on my blog on United Airlines’ Facebook page, I received TWO calls within 12 hours from Rhonda, an apparently high-ranking United Airlines Refund officer.  (Ah, the power of social media!)

In a discussion with her, she explained that, because the credit card used to make the reservation (Elisabeth’s) and the credit card used to pay the change fee (mine) were different, they had no record of the 13-digit number, as it is normally “attached” to the reservation.  I was also told that CheapTickets, not United, was responsible for the itinerary through Canada (CheapTickets had insisted the exact opposite), and that they should have indicated the need for a passport… which they didn’t – at least not on any communication I saw in forwarded communication from Elisabeth. 

Rhonda very patiently  explained United Airlines’ position, and then, as a “gesture of good faith,” she offered to e-mail me a voucher for $150 to be used on UA travel.  Although I told her I’d prefer a credit to my Visa card, I accepted her offer and waited to see that voucher in my in-box.  It’s been three days and I just realized that, although Rhonda didn’t state so explicitly, she’s probably waiting to see this post before e-mailing me said voucher. 

Because you know what she’s probably thinking? ‘Ah – and damn – the power of social media!’

The continuing saga of the United Airlines fiasco

Remember this?

Well, we’re still embroiled in a dispute – and oh my, it’s getting dramatic.  And infuriating.  And ridiculous.

Behold:

E-mail #1, in response to my initial request for a refund:

Dear Carol Snider:

We have received your request in reference to ticket numbers 016 XXXX 732774, 016 XXXX 534585 & 016 XXXX 544949.

As per our investigation we found that ticket no. 016 XXXX 732774 was exchanged to 016 XXXX 534585 and then again exchange to 016 XXXX 544949 and used, however you were not charged any change fee. (Emphasis mine.)

We appreciate you choosing United Airlines and hope that we can welcome you onboard again soon.

Sincerely,

Devidas Sable
Passenger Refunds

UES/ca
Ref #: 11578508A
United Airlines Passenger Refunds

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

E-mail #2, my reply:

Hello,

We were ABSOLUTELY charged a change fee of $150!  Here is a cut & paste from my online Visa statement:

I am not sure what ticket numbers you are referring to, as I only know what changes were made to her ticket both before her travel day (she was sent an e-mail, indicating that her route had been changed) and on travel day when the agent found her another ticket.

For United Airlines to insist that we were not charged the fee I am requesting -- essentially calling me a liar -- is absolutely insulting. (Emphasis mine.)

Please elevate this to a superior and re-investigate your records per the description I submitted.  Please get back to me ASAP!  I  have already posted the beginning of this story on my blog (and the resolution is being awaited) and I can also  post on your Facebook page for all to see that I have been called a liar by United Airlines.  I will not post anything today, in hopes of a speedy resolution to this matter.

Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you very soon.

Carol Snider

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

E-mail #3, United Airlines’ reply:

Dear Ms. Snider:

We have received your request in reference to ticket numbers 016 XXXX 732774, 016 XXXX 534585 & 016 XXXX544949.

I'm sorry if you feel that we're not trying to assist you with a refund.  Since the charge is still not reflecting in our system, we're unable to confirm this amount.  As you have sent us a copy of the credit card charge, we do see that you were charged $150.00 on December 17, 2010. 

(Seriously, their charge isn’t reflected in their system?!)

However, we still cannot proceed with the refund as the charge number that reflects on the statement is incomplete.  We need the 13 digit ticket number starting with 0164 to view the reservation in our system.

I would request you to contact your bank/credit card company and ask them to provide you with the complete 13 digit ticket number. Upon receiving your reply, we will investigate this matter further.  Please forward this documentation using one of the following methods:

Mailing Address:
United Airlines Refund Department
P.O. Box 66282
Chicago, IL 60666
Fax: 847 264 3371
Email: Refunds@United.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

E-mail #4, my reply to United Airlines today:

Hello again.

I find it ridiculous that you have proof that 1.) we were indeed charged $150 by United Airlines on 12/17/10 and 2.) the 10-digit charge number DOES start with 0164.  (The number on the Visa statement is 0164066631.)  I did call Visa, per your suggestion, and they confirm that they only have the 10-digit number that appears on the statement.  As the ticket was electronic and the ticket number isn't indicated on e-mail correspondence, we do not have the 13-digit number.

BUT YOU DO, AND YOU KNOW IT. 

It is a number generated by United Airlines!  Visa only provides a portion of the number as a convenience for their customers.  You have the full number.

To make our refund contingent upon us knowing a number that was never provided to us, but you have, is ridiculous!  What are you disputing?  That we paid the $150 to United Airlines on 12/17?  We did, as proven by the statement below.  That my story is falsified, for some reason?  It isn't, I assure you.

Here is the full statement.  The 10-digit number is all Visa has:

Please escalate this to a superior and indicate a number I can call to speak directly to that person.

 
Thank you,
Carol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK, now I am pulling my hair out!   I am seriously ready to call our local news and see if they’ll cover this in their consumer affairs reports! 

Suggestions?

This letter was just sent to United Airlines’ Customer Service office

Hello,

My daughter Katherine was given a trip to Hawaii on United Airlines for her birthday.  It was this trip that motivated her through a difficult quarter at the University of Washington.  (The United locator for her ticket is XXXXX and the ticket number is 1234567890.) The itinerary provided to my daughter was somewhat complicated, taking her from Seattle to Vancouver, BC, CANADA (and therein lies the problem), to San Francisco, and finally to Honolulu. 

She was provided the itinerary, but there was no explanation as to why she was being flown OUT of the country in order to remain IN the country, and there was certainly no mention of a passport requirement for this (basically superfluous) leg of the trip.  The evening before the trip, Katherine was able to print a boarding pass for the last two legs of her trip, but not for the initial leg of her trip -- although no reason was given as to why. 

When we arrived at the airport, she was told that she would not be allowed on the flight since she didn't have a passport.  (Her enhanced drivers license, which is used to cross the Canadian border by car was apparently not acceptable.)

As you can probably imagine, being turned away and not allowed on the flight was EXTREMELY upsetting to Katherine.  To make matters worse, we were told that no money would be refunded as it is apparently the passenger's responsibility to know which travel documents are required for any trip.  This is certainly understandable if the intent had been to travel to Canada... or even if she/we had made the itinerary, but this was an itinerary approved by United (via Cheaptickets) in order to get Katherine from Seattle to Hawaii -- both origination and destination within the US border.  To turn her away at the counter, when she had no desire or intent to leave the country, because she didn't possess a passport (and had never been warned that one would be required) was very, very distressing!

Enter United Airlines's absolute STAR ticket agent and provider of customer service, Eugenia Ernst -- who I have already complimented via your online feedback form; she is now referred to as Katherine's Hawaiian Guardian Angel (as she comes from Hawaii, which was Kat's destination).  Eugenia, bless her heart, stood by us and worked hard to find a solution to Katherine's circumstance.  Ultimately, she found the last seat on flights to Portland and LAX and then on to Honolulu. The initial flight would be leaving in a few minutes... did we want it?  It would entail a change fee of $150.  Any parent reading this will know that the ONLY answer to that question was "Yes."  I paid the change fee with my Visa, Eugenia walked Kat to the front of the security line, and she was off.

TRIP SAVED!  $150 lost.

I would like to request a refund of my $150 on the grounds that an itinerary flying out of the country in order to keep a passenger in the country should have never been approved by United Airlines.  And even if it were approved, there should have been warnings in big, bold print on all communication, warning Katherine that even though she wouldn't be leaving the Vancouver airport, but would only be walking (presumably) across the isle to go from one United flight to another, she would need a passport.  There was no such warning on ANY of the correspondence sent to her.

 
I hope that you will take a serious look at Katherine's situation and take steps to prevent this from happening to other passengers.  Had she not been able to get to Hawaii, her entire holiday season would have been ruined.  (Thanks again, Eugenia Ernst!)

If you have any questions, please feel free to call me at 123-456-7890 or to reply to this e-mail. 

Thanks you very much for your kind consideration.

Best,
Carol

So, what do you predict their reply will be?  Guesses?

I heart this guy!

Endlich! Ein gutes Deutsches Restaurant in Seattle!

(That’s “Finally!  A good German restaurant in Seattle!”)

This is NOT a review for Feierabend “German” restaurant in downtown Seattle.  If it were, it’s say something like “the spätzle tastes like cardboard, the waitress can’t speak a word of German (nor does she care -- or try), and the ambiance seems phony.”

And this is not a review of our own German cooking.  If it were… well here and here and here and here and OMG – HERE!

(We have never found sauerbraten or spätzle that even comes close in deliciousness to our own sauerbraten and käsespätzle – not even in Germany!  And believe me, we looked, and tasted – all over Germany!  Conceited, perhaps --but oh, so true!)

This is a review of Bratz’s German Restaurant in Seattle’s University district.  In a word (or two), “Lecker schmecker!!” 

The food was excellent, genuine German food, personally prepared and served by the very friendly owners, John, Robert, and their mother Veronicka, from Zweibrücken, Germany. 

After we placed our orders, we we enjoyed the genuine ambiance of this relatively small, but very cozy place.

(There’s a German TV feed on one TV and German soccer on another.  How can you NOT feel like you’re in Germany?  I like this better than Polka music playing over some Musak speakers.)

Not too long after we ordered, Friendly John brought us our food…

Aleks and I had the Jägerschnitzel which is referred to as “Hunter’s Schnitzel” on the menu, but hey John, I think you should be genuinely German and list it with it’s real name!)

It was excellent!  The rotkraut was perfect – just like Mom’s.  The schniztel was perfectly crispy with a just-right gravy, and the spätzle was quite good.  Not like ours, because apparently no one on earth can make it like we do.  But quite good.

Kat had the Wienerschnitzel Pretzel (or as my mom used to call it, “Bräääääää-tzl”)…

…and Tom had the Wienerschnitzel:

(I just love the touch of the Bavarian paper!)

We all agreed that the whole experience – from the food to the atmosphere to the people, was first-rate!

(How often do you see an expression like that on Tom’s face?!  Or like that on Kat’s face? “No more pictures, Mom… I want to EAT!”)

Next time (and there will definitely be many next times), I’ll have to try the rouladen, which my mom used to make at least a few times a month!

 

(Truth be told, I was afraid that would make me cry, because I haven’t had it since Mom died, and you know how taste and smell can bring back memories…)

Just like I did in my childhood, though, I’d ask them to hold the pickles.

Bratz is at 4759 Brooklyn Ave NE in the University District.  Blink, and you’ll miss it. 

And missing it would definitely be a mistake!

IMBY!

A few weeks ago, on a quiet Sunday afternoon much like this one, a neighbor came to our door wanting to discuss the plans for King County’s Tent City #4 to move into the parking lot of the “church at the corner,” just a few houses away from ours. 

“I really have no problem with them coming to our neighborhood,” this man said, “except that the church’s septic system simply won’t accommodate them.” 

Really? 

I suggested that if the church – a new one built just a few years ago – accommodates large church functions like weddings and carnivals, I’d think they’d be able to accommodate some homeless people as well.  “But that’s long-term,” the man insisted.  “Three whole months!”

“And plus,” he added, “our garage was broken into just last week and my iPod was stolen from my car!”

“Well wait a minute,” I reasoned.  “They’re not even here yet, so how can you blame them for a crime in our neighborhood last week?”

I kid you not, this was his answer:

“Well, I’m just sayin’…”

Yes, you are.  You’re just sayin’ that you’re an ignorant, bigoted, intolerant man.

So this man took hours out of his day on a beautiful Sunday afternoon to protest homeless people moving into our neighborhood, screaming “NIMBY!  NIMBY!” (not in my backyard), and they came anyway.

They’ve been here for about a month now and I want to personally report that they have been nothing but courteous, quiet, clean, and responsible.  There has not been one single “incident” involving any of them and, if anything, our neighborhood is even cleaner than normal because some of them even regularly make the rounds cleaning up any trash on the streets of the neighborhood! 

I decided this morning to introduce myself at Tent City #4 and to welcome them to the neighborhood.  I parked in front of their “front office” and mentioned to them that I’m a blogger and that I was hoping to blog my impressions.

They couldn’t have been more friendly and accommodating, and they even offered to give me a tour – which I will pass on to you.  (Oh, Mr. Neighbor, are you there?)

The first thing I noticed was the total and complete organization of all aspects of the camp. 

The rules are strict, consisting of a ONE-strike-and-you’re-out policy regarding drugs and violence, as well as very strict rules around noise and respect for the neighborhood. 

Everything was neat and tidy, from loaner bikes…

…to clean donated clothes…

…to the kitchen…

…to the neat rows of tents -- where it must have been miserable during last week’s heat wave… and where it’s wet, cold, and drizzly today.

That septic system that my neighbor insisted was insufficient turns out to be more than sufficient, although the health department and the county do stipulate that only about half the residents can take a (military-style) shower on any given day.

I asked whether any of the residents have jobs and was told that MOST of them do, but they simply can’t make ends meet since many also pay child support or other obligatory expenses and they just can’t meet the demands of first and last months rent and other expenses involved in finding and maintaining a place to live.. 

This is the working poor, folks, not a bunch of drugged out derelicts.  For any of us who live paycheck to paycheck, this could be us next week or next month. 

I think this video says it best:

Those old bananas in my kitchen just found themselves a new home in the form of a few loaves of banana bread.  I’ll bring it to the residents of Tent City #4 while it’s still warm because on a drizzly day like this a little warm sweetness would feel good in anyone’s belly!

A Blue Angel Bummer

What’s that sound, up in the sky?  What’s that roar of an engine coming our way?  It’s a plane… yes it is!  It’s a…

sea plane.

 

    

 

Oh well.