Friday, November 16, 2007

Home Depot: Where Old People Go to D...ATE

Twenty-somethings date at parties -- no kids to worry about. Thirty-somethings date at the zoo -- their kids in tow. Forty-somethings date in the next city over -- leaving the kids, but just barely. And fifty-somethings -- well, it seems that we date at Home Depot while the kids are at parties!

The first thing we noticed as we entered the store all atwitter (are you sensing the sarcasm?) was a plethora of holiday decorations. Way, way too many holiday decorations, especially for what is essentially a hardware store (OK, fine -- a home improvement store), and especially for November. I guess I should just be grateful that they waited until after Halloween, huh? But still.

And almost all the holiday stuff was kitsch. Like really, really disgustingly kitsch!

The actual reason we went to Home Depot was to pick out lighting for the front yard. As is typical for Tom at his favorite store, he spent what seemed like forever pondering, deliberating and considering his choices.

He finally selected this stuff.

And ooooooh -- the other amazing things at Home Depot! (I know what you're thinking -- if this is a date she needs to get a life!)

This sink is really cool as a display, but I'm sorry -- I couldn't use it for real! I'd constantly be moving my feet back so they don't get splashed! And cleaning this thing? No thanks!

I've been wanting to install a cat door forever (poor kitties depend us on for ins and outs), but it was someone's graffiti that cracked me up here! They wrote "What is it, Lassie? What is it, girl?" I wanted to take the Sharpie out of my purse and add, "What?! What's that? Timmy's stuck in the well?"

And then there was the "kegerator"! This gizmo is just bizarre. It looks like a fridge with a tap on it -- and, well -- that's exactly what it is. You just put the keg in the fridge, hook it up and voila! Hmmmmm... with all four kids in college next year... oh, never mind! (And just kidding!)

I wanted to buy some plants for the yard but, being mid-November, this is what the nursery looked like. Isn't this just SAD?

I've decided that tools are named by (and for) insecure men.

And this is for Pioneer Woman because I adore her!

(I swear, Blogger is just crap when it comes to displaying pictures! In both Mozilla and IE, the pictures on the published post don't show up anywhere close where I placed them! Anyone found a way to deal with this??)

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Anonymous said...

I cannot help you with your blogger issues, but I wanted to say that I've heard that some Home Depots are actually "homo-depots"--filled with gay men (and presumably butch lesbians) shopping--with Larry Craig style trips to the bathrooms.

Becky said...

The "tool names" portion...I have tea all over my keyboard. I should know better than to drink and read something funny at the same time.

Jen said...

OMG, lol

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