Wednesday, October 10, 2007

An Open Letter to My Internal Clock and Biorhythm

Dear Biorhythm,

What the...?

We were like one, you and I. We were connected, cohesive, and cooperative. We functioned like a well-oiled machine for years on end, waking briskly at sunrise, whirring along efficiently all day, and then fading gently together at bedtime, re-charging for the next busy day.

But you have abandoned me, oh biorhythm, leaving me to navigate long, dark lonely nights alone and to fade away into oblivion when people around me are wide awake and lively.

At first I thought it was because you felt abandoned when I traveled half-way across the world, leaving you to recalibrate yourself in a strange land. But we worked that out beautifully, didn't we? Within a few days we were a smoothly functioning team again, ready to take on the world -- literally.

You and me... buds forever. Right?

Wrong, apparently.

Now, my friend, you're playing with me, teasing me, and -- quite frankly -- pissing me off. Do you think I like waking up suddenly at 1:30 AM (after drifting off far too early, at 8:47), in a dripping sweat, grasping onto a fading, disturbing dream, and then not being able to fall asleep (or cool down) again for hours? Is that fun for you? Because really, it's no fun at all for me.

Loading dishes and doing laundry at 4:30 in the morning isn't really my idea of accomplishment. Hell, if I had real cerebral (paid) stuff to do, maybe I could work with you on this new craze of yours and we could stomp around together in the wee hours, being productive. I'd be down with that. But until that happens could you please, please (please) allow me to function like a normal human being, sleeping and waking at reasonable hours?

Two can play this game, my friend, and I'm not nice when I'm grouchy and tired. Do you really want to go there, or do you think maybe we can reach an understanding... like right now, when it's light outside and my cup of coffee has induced rational and logical thought (at least temporarily).

It's your move, buddy. Tread lightly... but please, do something!

Warmly (sweating, in fact),


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Anonymous said...

I always have an absolutely horrid time readjusting my internal clock when returning from Germany. And it has gotten worse as I got older; the last time it took me the better part of a month to get back to normal. That's part of the reason that I don't look forward to our trip next year.

Jen said...

Boy, this sure is a favorite game of biorhythms at a certain time of life, isn't it? Ugh and my sympathies.

What I do on those nights is write. Then I'm at least kind of happy.

My dad used to boil romaine lettuce and drink that with something MUCH more pleasant (it smells and tastes awful) around 3:00 or 4:00 p.m. - it has tons of tryptophan and that really helped. It may be worth a try.

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