Sunday, February 25, 2007

You Know You're from Seattle When...

  • The only honking you ever hear is from geese.
  • You obey all traffic laws except "keep right except to pass."
  • You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "walk" signal.
  • You recycle absolutely everything.
  • You use the words "sun break" and know what it means.
  • You consider it a sunny day if the sun is visible at some point during the day.
  • You're not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain" and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers." You can't wait for a day with "Showers and sun breaks."
  • In the winter you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark--while only working eight-hour days. And in the summer you bring your dog to the dog park for a few hours before work and go kayaking for a few hours after work -- all in daylight.
  • You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
  • You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
  • You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50 degrees, but you still wear your hiking boots and parka.
  • You switch to your sandals when it gets above 60.
  • You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
  • You know one conservative – a friend of a friend who lives in Idaho.
  • You own 17 pairs of sunglasses – 16 of which were purchased when you couldn’t remember where you put the last pair… last year.
  • Your fanciest outfit consists of an Eddie Bauer button-down, an REI fleece, and Northface zip-off shorts.
  • You can stand on any corner and see at least six Starbuck’s.
  • You know the baristas at all six by name.
  • You can’t order coffee using less than 42 words.
  • You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best Coffee, and Tully's. You think “Peet’s” refers to ground cover.
  • You know at least eight people who work for either Microsoft or Boeing.
  • Of the Microsoft employees, three are burnouts, two of whom two are millionaires.
  • You and your friends share “start-up” stories.
  • You know how to pronounce "Sequim", "Puyallup" and "Issaquah."
  • You know where the Troll lives – and have sat on his lap.
  • “EMP looks like a burnt marshmallow on a smashed guitar” makes perfect sense to you.
  • You remember the Kingdome.
  • You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
  • You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it's not a real mountain.
  • You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye.
  • You consider swimming an indoor sport.
  • You know that your soccer game will be played, no matter how torrential the downpour.
  • You can tell the difference between Chinese, Thai, and Vietnamese food.
  • You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you can't see through the cloud cover.
  • You know what "the mountain is out" means.
  • You've actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
  • You knew immediately that the view out Frasier's window was fake... and that there's no hospital that close to the Space Needle.

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vailian said...

Even though I have been to Seattle often, I would fail this test dismally. But I know about the dank weather... we have enough of that here-- and the extreme latitude (Cologne is even further north than Seattle)

christina said...

Right on! A lot of those are also used in the "You know you're from Vancouver" (where I'm from) one. I really need to visit good old Seattle again some day. It's been a while.

Anonymous said...

It takes you 30 minutes to merge onto the freeway because the knuckleheads in front of you stop before merging, waiting for a large break in traffic or hoping the freeway will stop to let them merge-in (even though there's a 1/2 mile long lane dedicated to aid in merging at freeway speeds)

The left lane on the highway is not used for passing (as the law requires), but for people incapable of changing lanes or even going the speed limit

Your have moss growing in all the body seams of your vehicle because you didn't wash it in the last seven days

No one wants to use the horn for fear of being considered rude

People will wait for the cross walk to say "walk" even if there isn't a car in sight

You reduce your speed by 10mph when its raining (that would be most of the time)

You use studded tires for 5 months of the year even though you won't drive your car when snow may be on the roads (which wrecks the roads and gives you decreased traction anyways)

Anonymous said...

You know at least 15 vegetarians, 10 of which are vegans.

Anonymous said...

I have lived in Seattle my whole life and literally none of this is true.

Anonymous said...

This is brilliant! It's true for me but I live about an hour north of Seattle, out in the kinds country, round Everett. Most of it was true for me, though I'm not a coffee person and I don't know anyone working for Microsoft (I'm not old enough really) . I love this so much! Brilliance! Ive lived here my whole life and its all true; we joke about it a lot here, specially the weather:) thanks for sharing! This made me laugh so much! (I got family everywhere in the world, its so funny when my cousins come up from Texas and try to pronounce things like puyallup and stilliguamish!)

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