Tuesday, January 09, 2007

What Not to Wear: Home Edition!

Elisabeth dove into Tom's closet in disgust last night, ruthlessly tossing/throwing/verbally shredding many of his favorite articles of clothing that he's had for the past twenty or so years. Overheard during this process:

  • "The universe goes on forever and comes out the other end. That's how bad this shirt is, Dad. It's so bad that it's almost becoming cool again!"
  • "Dad, this jacket has a strap that you actually tighten around your waist. Women did that in the 80's! Give it to some nice, deserving woman!"
  • "This one has got to go. Little kids who carry lunchboxes with Fruit Snacks in them wear Lands' End!"
  • "It's not just 80's woman, it's pregnant 80's woman! Get it out of here!"
  • "It's flannel. Remember, we talked about flannel."
  • So what if it's a London Fog! If you're in London, in the fog, maybe you can wear it then. Probably not."
Lest you think my closet escaped her ruthless scrutiny:
  • "Don't you feel like a pedophile, Dad? You married a woman with THIS in her closet!"
  • "Do you have a jumper to go with this blouse? A pink lunchbox? Hair ribbons?"
  • "Dad, take Mom on a safari. She has the perfect wardrobe for getting lost in an African jungle!"
It was traumatic! So cruel! But our closets are significantly emptier now. And these five big, full bags are headed for the Goodwill... and I to the MALL! :-)

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blackcrag said...

Does it ever occur to you your daughter's a bit of a ham? Obviously honey-glazed as she is sweet with it.

Also, you should stat to limit how many "What not to wear"- and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"-type shows she watches. It might be having an adverse affect on her.

christina said...

Wow, send her over to my house, I sure learned something. I can't even open my closet right now. Waaaay too much stuff that has seen better days.

vailian said...

Hey, I want that Norwegian-style sweater! Actually, you could have sent everything. Around here, I am RENOWNED for my execrable taste, I appear regularly in public with a sports jacket that my father bought as a young man. (Not to mention my concert attire, which was really at the forefront of fashion in the late 18th century)

Dixie said...

"It's flannel. Remember, we talked about flannel."

That may be the funniest thing I've read in a month!

Maria said...

Sounds like she's got it together! LOL! I had a good time making over my dad's wardrobe over the years. Unfortunately, he has a pass on the flannel, but he can only wear it to work in (he's a farmer). When it creeps in to his leaving the farm, my step-mom and I squash it like a bug.

Enjoy the shopping! :)

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