Sunday, September 17, 2006

Mom's Been on My Mind

Nothing desperate or dramatically depressing; she's just been on my mind.

Sometimes I'm sure I hear her calling my name -- "Caaaaarol," her Bavarian accent providing a distinct roll of the "r." Even though she died over two years ago, I sometimes still absent-mindedly pick up the phone thinking, "I'll tell Mom about..." I can still dial the number; I can still tell Dad... but it's different. In so many little ways, though, Mom is still with me. Sometimes, when I'm putting on my make-up in the morning, mindlessly looking in the mirror, I see her looking back at me. As I was driving a few weeks ago, I found myself gnawing at my middle-finger knuckle, just as she used to do when she drove. I realized then that I must have been doing this for years, as I have a pretty substantial callous there!
I know I dream about Mom a lot, but for some reason I never, ever remember my dreams. Why is that?

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1 comment:

jen said...

my mom died over 10 years ago and I still think about calling her up and asking for advice or an opinion. Ocassionally I'll smell her perfume wafting around my house and i feel comforted.

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