Kat's Guide to Romance

It's just too good not to post in its original format!! (Notice the food stains...)

I think this falls under "the benefits of being 17 and having a twin sister/brother"!

My Son the Romantic?!

Aleks is definitely passionate -- about politics and world governments, about languages and cultures, about academics and social commentary. But about love?! This is new!

Aleks and Dani have been going out for a few months now. Dani's adorable and we love having her around. Like Danelle (Peter's girlfriend), she lights up any room and has a sweet, joyful spirit. When Aleks told us last week that he was planning to make a romantic Valentines Dinner for Dani, we were thrilled... but also a bit dubious. Aleks has never cooked more than Mac and Cheese in his life -- and now he's gonna attempt Pad Thai?! This MUST be love!

This afternoon, as I was deep into some new frustrations at work (the honeymoon's over?!), my office phone rang numerous times. "Mom, how do I cook the chicken?" Five minutes later: "Mom, how can I tell when it's done?" Ten minutes later: "Mom, where's the wok?" Shortly thereafter: "Mom, do we have a white tablecloth?" And ten minutes after that: "You and Dad should go out for dinner and not get home till about 9:00."

Hmmmm... alrighty then!

When Tom and I got home from said romantic dinner, we found rose pedals and candles strewn about the dining room table (along with two long-stemmed roses and a box of chocolates), the lights dimmed, and our best china stacked neatly on the kitchen counter.

My son the romantic, INDEED!

Apparently dinner was a huge hit and Aleks is quite the cook. Either that, or love has overtaken Dani's tastebuds. But with a father and brother who are quite excellent cooks, it seems that Aleks has his own natural-born culinary talent!

I think I'll ask him to cook dinner for us on Friday.

ADDENDUM:
Note found in kitchen, written in Kat's (Aleks' twin sister) handwriting:

"Aleks: To Do
In dining room:
-Clear table. Ask Mom where we have a white tablecloth and good dishes.
-Sprinkle rose pedals on table (mostly in middle), to surround tea lights (in secretary as last resort... there are some on my bookshelf that you may borrow) and red candles from World Market. (Note: Kat helped Aleks shop yesterday afternoon -- apparently for groceries and romantic accessories!)
-Tie the balloon so that it is hanging (floating?) from her chair.
-Light candles.
-Dim lights

-Either set the other rose on her plate or give it to her when you greet her at the door.

-It might be fun to make dinner together. (?!)

-Dessert. Ice cream. Don't forget it.

-If dinner is a disaster, order Chinese or pizza. This can be cute, too.

(At this point there's a drawing of the proposed table, labeled "bird's eyes view." "You" and "Dani" are labeled close together on one far side of the table. On the other far side are the words "Don't sit here!")

Some things to keep in mind:
-Lighting
-Cleanliness
-Barry White may be a good idea.
-Bread?
-Salad?

And below that, another drawing of a place-setting, with the following labels, appropriately placed:
"A note from you. Write her something!
Wine glass (water is fine)
Plate
Napkin"

OK, so this DEFINITELY goes in that bin that's filled with kids' artwork from kindergarten, book reports from 5th grade, and cute things kids said throughout the years!

My kids just never cease to crack me UP!

I'm All A'Twitter!

I'm in awe of MetroDad. He is truly one of the greatest, funniest, most perceptive and talented bloggers in cyberspace -- not to mention hilariously funny and a fabulous writer -- and I am an avid reader of his blog about his life as a Korean American in New York City with Peanut, his adorable 2-year-old daughter and BossLady, his obviously loving, smart and extremely patient and tolerant wife. (I mentioned patient, right?)

A cyber-crush? Nah... but definitely cyber-admiration! And guess what? (:::Insert giggly scream and flailing armlet motions here:::::) MetroDad commented on my blog!! He oh-my-god kinda sorta TALKED to me! I'm not kidding! His font touched my (oooooh!) comment square!

I'll just revel in this for a bit, okay?

Raising Older Teens: Our "Only" Two Rules

Like most decent parents, we raised our four kids with a healthy dose of rules and structure combined with increasing freedom over time. Trust has always been the "default setting" in our family and the kids have known from the start that our trust is theirs to lose, that we trust them until and unless their behavior demands otherwise. And other than a few small hiccups, they have never betrayed that trust and, even when we'd rather not really and truly know all the details what they've been up to, they choose to tell us anyway. Raising kids with truly open trust and communication isn't always the easiest way to go because you have to be ready to know things you might not be ready for, but it feels to us like the most real way -- and really the only right way for us.

Which brings me to the only REAL rules we have around here anymore, now that the kids are older teens and young adults:

1.) Do not combine a motor vehicle and alcohol in ANY way -- as a driver OR as a passenger. If you drink (and of course we'd rather they didn't, but honestly, what 17 or 20-year-old doesn't?!), do NOT get near a car. Spend the night, call us, walk, do whatever... but do NOT get near a car. Defiance of this rule has no warning and no chances -- your drivers license (car, insurance, etc.) WILL be taken away indefinitely. The kids know this and although we'd of course prefer they don't drink, we'd rather they LIVE.

2.) Do not have unprotected sex until you want to become a parent. Fortunately, our kids are mature and responsible about relationships, so this one isn't that hard. But it's amazing how difficult this one is for some parents. Preventing their kids from having sex becomes some sort of obsessive mission and in the quest to discover/prevent sexual activity, a whole lot of lies are told and a whole lot of trust is betrayed -for everyone involved. Heck, I'd much rather appeal to my teens to be mature and responsible (and preferably committed) than to insist that they share every facet of their increasingly independent lives with us (or to motivate them to hide them from us). Again, the default setting is trusting that they're making wise, intelligent, SAFE decisions. And coincidentally (or not), they pretty much do.

Potentially life-altering decisions -- like driving drunk or having unprotected sex -- somehow become the focus of parenting (or at least of of ours) when kids become teens. Where it used to be "no TV till home work is finished" and "load your dish," it's now concentrated on behavior that can basically alter a life, like driving drunk or getting pregnant or contracting an STD.

I can handle a hung-over teen WAY better than a paralyzed one... and I can handle the knowledge that my teen is having sex WAY better than I can handle being an early grandparent. (See... it's ultimately all selfishly motivated!)

Just Teasing, M'Dear! ;-)

The up-side to this...





...er, I mean THIS...





...is THIS!

Mold Mystery

Remember this? And this? Well, take a look at this.

For months on and off but especially lately, I have been debilitated with sneezing, congestion, watery eyes (and a puffed-up face), coughing and fatigue... but only while at home. Last night it was so bad that I couldn't continue with my normal activities and had to go to bed, laying completely still, eyes closed (and watering... some of it being from frustration and confusion!), my breathing very labored and my chest hurting.

My on-and-off "allergies" have been a mystery for months around here and, although we noticed that they're worse when Tom's demo-ing a room like the bathroom, we hadn't made the connection to mold allergies until late last night when I could hardly move -- or breathe -- without total exhaustion and pain. Coincidentally (or not), yesterday was when Tom removed all the wallboard from the bathroom and carried it through the house to the garbage bins outside.

So now what? Should I just go to work even more, staying away from the home that is likely making me sick? That's hardly possible and certainly not an option. Will this get better, now that the old wallboard is gone and new, fresh wallboard is being installed? Or is the problem actually throughout the house?

I'm gonna spend the day at Costco and other stores, looking for new bathroom accessories, while I ponder the question...

Good Lunch, Bad Movie (and Taxes)

I'm not working this weekend! Like, at ALL!

Instead, Kat, Elisabeth and I had a girls' day out. First we had lunch at the local Mongolian Grill. We love this place because you create your own meal from scratch -- from noodles to veggies to sauces to meat (or fish or tofu) -- and then hand your bowl of fresh ingredients to the chefs, who cook it on a very large, very hot grill. Once it's cooked, the very personalized concoction is placed over rice, another sauce of your choice is added, and voila! Delicious!

We then went to see Because I Said So, with Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore. I love Diane Keaton, so I had high hopes -- but I must say that it was the worst movie I've seen in a long time. The story and script were just downright BAD, the acting was mediocre at best (Mandy Moore was better than Keaton!), and the wardrobe director must have been on drugs. Bad, bad, bad!

It was nice to finally spend some time with my grrrrls!

Tomorrow I'll conduct "Mama's Tax Clinic." I've invited the four kids, all of whom have jobs and go to school (or did in '06), to sit around the kitchen table and fill out 1040's together. Their returns should be relatively easy; my taxes (er, our taxes... I do the finances; Tom rebuilds the house) have been pissing me off all day... and shenanigans like THIS don't help!!

Code Blue -- She's Fading!

Instead of blogging tonight, I've decided to go to bed and watch Gray's Anatomy and ER. Till tomorrow!