Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Once upon a time, a pretty dang long time ago…

…30 years, to be exact, this happened:
Tom and Carol wedding D
Er, I mean this happened:
Tom and Carol wedding J
Scan241, March 04, 2006Tom and Carol wedding E
It was an amazing day and I just knew with such certainty that it would lead to an amazing life!
It had all begun six years previous, when Tom was an RA at Santa Cruz dorm at UCSB, where I was a lowly sophomore.  I had such a crush on him that I did things like sneak pictures of him when he was doing his laundry.
Eventually, I convinced him that he should ditch that other broad and be with me.  Thank goodness for my powers of persuasion!
…and by the time I graduated two years later, he had relented and was beginning to get used to the idea of “that redheaded girl” being his g-g-g-irlfriend.
A year later we went through some turmoil that would, in the end, “seal the deal” and then this happened:
Engagement announcement 12April1983 Ashland Tidings
Since then, it’s been (mostly) the amazing and wonderful ride that I had predicted.  Sure, we’ve had some rough patches; what couple doesn’t?  But for the most part, this journey called marriage has been fulfilling and happy and a whole lot of fun.  It helps when you’re best friends from the start and I was lucky to have chosen a man who is absolutely deep-down good and kind and compassionate and caring.  (Most of the time… sheesh – he’s not perfect!)
And hey, look at the four characters we created together!
IMG_0672Scan190, March 04, 2006IMG_0134Scan185, March 04, 2006Snider kids 4 00 brighter
4kidsgrad20054siblings6April05DSC_0122Yuen Lui full-res_4kids_Aug12
Not bad for a couple of kids in love, eh?
On our 25th anniversary I posted about the “25 things I’ve learned in 25 years of marriage.” Do I have five more for our 30th?  Sure, and they reflect where we are in that marriage:
26. Make new traditions together.  We’re talking about getting an RV and doing some traveling, just the two of us.  We’re done with raising kids and remodeling houses!  Let’s PLAY!
27. Plan for your own financial future.  For so many years, “planning for the future” meant saving for four college educations.  Now that that’s behind us, we’re putting considerable effort and resources into planning for our own future.  It’s not exactly romantic, but it’s important.
28. Perish the pettiness.  I’m not sure why, but petty arguments tend to get nipped in the bud these days, by both of us.  Whereas we used to each feel a need to win and earn one-upmanship, we now let things slide a whole lot more.  The little things just aren’t as important anymore.  I wish we would have learned this years ago.
29. Appreciate each moment together.  More than ever, I am cognizant of the possibility that I could lose Tom suddenly and without warning at any moment.  It is a terrifying thought. And that’s all I want to say about it because it is THAT terrifying.
30. Keep the romance alive.  Toward that end, look what Tom gave me last night!  (OK, in truth, I actually saw it first and asked him to come back to the store with me…)
As I told Tom this morning, I’d marry him all over again.  Of all the decisions I’ve made in my life, the decision to marry him (after I persuaded him to ask me!) was the best one I ever made.
Happy anniversary m’dear (which is about as pet-namey as we get).  Here’s to (gulp!) 30 more years together!

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Margaret said...

Of course you know how heartily I approve of #29. Dealing with the loss of Patt has made me thankful that we did try to enjoy every minute we had. I wanted to make it to 30, but we ended up a 11 days shy of our 28th. And they were mostly good years.

Carol said...

Margaret, you always make me teary! Actually, you prompted me to pay attention to #29... much as I don't like the thought of it. Hope things are slowly but surely getting easier for you.


Goofball said...

happy anniversary!! I always love your family pictures.
The fact that you took secretly some snap pictures of Tom when having a crush on him is hilarious but so sweet

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