If you’re a mom, you’ll understand

(A recent IM with a friend:)

Carol says (4:57 PM):
Still no word from my guy, stranded somewhere in Italy (I think).
Ann says (4:57 PM):
oh no!
Carol says (4:57 PM):
He's fine, I'm sure.
Ann says (4:57 PM):
well, he's probably safe, at least.  Just not having things go according to plans.
And what a story he'll have!
Carol says (4:58 PM):
Exactly... he has no choice but to deal.
Ann says (4:58 PM):
yeah - character-building experience!
Carol says (4:58 PM):
Exactly!
Ann says (5:00 PM):
and he's with friends, right?
Carol says (5:00 PM):
Yes, one guy and a bunch of girls.  Poor guy!
Ann says (5:01 PM):
Let me get out my tiny violin....

Ann says (5:08 PM):
let's put it this way: when I look at this picture, I understand why airplanes are not flying in it! 

What is it about our family, Italy, and volcanoes?

Back in 1980, I was in (but not stuck in) Florence when Mt. St. Helens blew… and now Aleks is in (as in, stuck in) Milan because of the volcano-with-the-unpronounceable name!

He and a few friends decided a few weeks ago to head to Venice for the weekend.  They took a flight there last Thursday, then somehow got to Milan (hey, all I get are quick, cryptic Facebook messages, like “I am in Milan, we are f**ked, not sure how to get back to Prague without spending lots of money. I don’t really know what to do but we will figure something out…”), and now, like just about everyone else in Europe, they can’t seem to get any transportation to anywhere. 

So now we all just wait – like everyone else seems to be doing. 

Do I have any readers in Milan who happen to run a hotel or youth hostel which happens to have a few openings?

Embarrassing moment #725: In which I meet Pioneer Woman. Twice.

When was the last time you had a day containing two blog-worthy embarrassing moments?

(Don’t answer that.)

As if it wasn’t embarrassing enough to mistake a total stranger (up close) for my husband this morning, I had to go and make a blunder of public-address-system proportions at the Pioneer Woman’s book signing in Seattle today. 

Yes, folks, I met Pioneer Woman today – twice.

I had picked up tickets a few days ago for Kat and I to attend Ree Drummond’s book signing, so we were in a relatively early group of fans and we only had to wait an hour or so to reach the front of the line.  When it came our turn, we giddily (OK, Kat was totally relaxed; I was giddy!) handed the book “Pioneer Woman Cooks” to one bookstore helper and my camera to another.  Ree greeted us and chatted US up for a few minutes, acting as if she had all the time in the world to spend with us. She was just as I’d imagined – funny, sweet, extraordinarily kind, and genuinely interested.  I mentioned that we had two things in common – being redheads (“But I pay for mine these day,” I admitted, and she quickly admitted, “Oh, me too!”) and that we started our blogs in the same month and year, to which I added that “I don’t have a bookstore of people waiting in line…"  (Why do I blurt out such things?!)

We then posed for a few pictures with our new best friend, Pioneer Woman, aka PDub, aka Ree Drummond:

(Was I embarrassed?  Well, yes, I was.  But more than that I was mid-hot flash!  Seriously.)

(Kat with Pioneer Woman, from whom she learned so much about both photography and cooking.)

And then we left.

The end.

Only NOT.

After we walked away from the “staging area,” I put down the newly signed book so I could check the photos that had just been taken.  Not that I would have gone back, had they not turned out and asked poor Ree to do it all again.  I was just curious… and impatient.  We  gushed over the photos and left the store.  That was fun, we decided.

And then, in the parking lot, Kat asked if she could see the book Ree had just signed.

“Sure…”

Oh, crap!

I had set the book down and walked away!

We hurried back into the bookstore and I headed back, against traffic (how embarrassing) to the staging area. 

I tried to get the store worker’s attention as unobtrusively as possible.  Really, I did.  But it was Ree who looked up first.

“I, um, think I left my book here.” (Because at that point, I hadn’t remembered where I left it.) 

An all-points bulletin for my missing book ensued with - I kid you not - an announcement on the PA system, to the hundreds, if not a thousand, people squeezed into the bookstore. (How embarrassing!)

“Pioneer Woman fans!  We seem to have a missing book.  If you could all check your books and if you have one with a dedication to ‘Carol and Kat’ please bring it to the information desk.  I repeat…”

(Oh god, must you…?)

Ree was so incredibly sweet, genuinely concerned, and even offered to buy and sign another book for me!  As you can imagine, my girl crush swelled ten-fold at that moment!

Upon the suggestion of the bookstore worker, I went back to the information desk, hoping someone would turn in the newly signed book.  And, it turned out, someone had!  (Seattle – the land of polite people.) 

I scooped it up and we began to head out the door, when I stopped and told Kat that I really need to go back and thank the people at the staging area, letting them know that I’d found the missing book.

I again made my way against traffic again (how embarrassing!) and as unobtrusively as possible (really!) showed my book to the bookstore worker, mouthing “thank you.”

Then Ree looked up and said, “Yay!  You found it!”  And then… she picked up her own camera…

…and took a picture of me with my lost-and-found book! 

And THEN!  She motioned to Kat, who was standing off to the side, to join me in another picture!

Ree didn’t have to be so incredibly concerned, so amazingly generous, and so very kind.  Really – she could have easily ignored the whole mini fiasco.  But she didn’t. She really IS as nice as she seems on her blog!

Thank you, Ree…. my friend! 

Embarrassing moment #724

Tom and I went to the gym together this morning.  The plan was that I’d attend a Boot Camp class and Tom would do some weights followed by some laps in the pool.  I made it through Boot Camp (and was actually surprised that it didn’t totally kick my ass!) and went to the pool afterwards to look for Tom.

I immediately spotted Tom’s familiar stroke and stood at the end of the lane, waiting for him to touch the side so I could grab his attention.  He approached the end of the lane and I motioned to him to stop swimming, which he did, standing up in front of me.  As I began to speak to him, he lifted his goggles… and it was only at THAT moment that I realized that…

… this man was NOT my husband! 

Mortified, I opened my mouth, not sure what would come out.  I was afraid I’d say, “Oh, excuse me – I thought you were my husband …of 27 years, who I have known for 34 years and can spot from a mile away, just by the way you move.”

Fortunately (if you can call it fortunate) I said, “Oh excuse me… I thought you were someone else.”  I then turned around and shuffled out of there so fast that I almost slipped on the wet tile and – broke my ankle.  Again.

I saw this guy again later as he left the locker room and again opened my mouth, thinking it was Tom… but, realizing (again) that it wasn’t, I um… feigned a yawn and kept walking.  Fast.

Tom’s brother looks a lot like him and I have come close to a few embarrassing moments before, mistaking Craig for Tom.  That’s legit and even expected.  But this?  This was just weird!  Who IS this guy?!

Later, when I introduced Tom to my trainer, I told them what had happened and Tom, not missing a beat, asked whether I now had a date with this strange man – to which I could only answer, “in fact, yes – we’re having lunch together next Wednesday!” 

(Which isn’t true, of course because really, it’s not a good idea to have an illicit affair with a man who’s a dead ringer for your husband!)

April Flowers

Discouraged

So five weeks into working out twice a week (hard!) with a personal trainer and eating really well, I am down a grand total of 2 (yes, only TWO) pounds and 1 (yes, only ONE) percentage in body fat.  Needless to say, I am hugely, massively, extremely disappointed and discouraged.

I’ve kept a food journal all along and it reflects healthy eating – unless you consider salmon and tzatziki sauce made with nonfat yogurt and cucumbers (30 calories for two tablespoons) or dinner at the Mongolian Grill with only fresh veggies and shrimp and cooked with very little oil unhealthy. 

I have one more week on my (phenomenally expensive) personal training contract and then… well, I don’t know!  I will continue to go to the gym at least three times a week because I know that’s a good, healthy choice no matter what I do there.  Maybe I’ll replace the Monday/Wednesday 7 AM personal training with a 7 AM yoga class (I’ve never done yoga!).  I’ll continue to eat well, continue to shun sweets and, yes, we’ll likely continue to eat out a time or two a week because – well, we’re empty nesters and that’s what we now do.   

And I WILL do the Danskin Triathlon in August, even if I have to crawl to the finish line!

But today, I am discouraged, baffled, frustrated, and sad. I know this is 100% up to me, but where do I even go from here?

Indulging my girl crush

As of this afternoon, I am the proud owner of:

Yes, along with millions of other American women I have a mad grrrrl crush on Ree Drummond, otherwise known as Pioneer Woman.  Ree and I both started our blogs in May, 2006.  We both go on an on about our four kids. 

We both…

Well, that’s about all we have in common.  Basically, I just want to have Ree’s talent – for writing, for photography, and for cooking.  Ree never meant to become a celebrity; she simply did what she loves, did it amazingly well, and the celebrity status followed.  I think she’s still somewhat shocked and befuddled by it all.

So guess where Kat and I will be on Saturday evening? 

Yup…

….oooohing and aaaaahing and indulging our grrrrl crushes, along with hundreds, if not thousands, of other Ree wanna-be’s. 

Correspondence from Aleks in Poland

April 10, 2010

Hey mom,
I can only assume you are just waking up and won't check this email for a bit, or today at all. I just wanted to point your attention to the headlines of the news when you have a chance. There is a lot more to it, but essentially what has occurred is the Polish president, most of his successionary line, and most of the top government officials perished this morning in an plane crash flying into western Russia. Obviously this is not only a tragedy for the world, but me being in Poland this weekend makes it a particularly interesting situation. The nation is upset, but there is no danger at all presented to the program, and we are in entirely safe hands. It's unclear who will follow up the government, but violence and coups we've been assured will not be in part, and would occur in Warsaw, not Krakow.
Hopes this eases any worries you would have had,
Aleks

Thanks for letting us know, Aleks.  Wow, that is so tragic!  Why would the entire government be put on the same plane?  So sad!  I'll look for you on Skype tonight (Mon AM your time) when we get back from Pullman.

Mom,

I'm still in Poland, I'll be back in Prague in about 18 hours, so the first opportunity after then. I've spent the entire weekend at memorials and mourning: on Saturday for the plane accident and the anniversary of the Katyn massacre, and on Sunday at Auschwitz-Birkenau. I was standing in the middle of the gas chamber at Auschwitz I when the nation had a minute of silence for Lech Kazynski and the other victims of the accident.

It was by far the most humbling/depressing experience of my life. I'll tell you more about the weekend in Poland later but it's been one of intense required maturation...
Aleks