My first love has died. RIP, Davy Jones.

From the time I was 11 until I was about 13, I walked a mile to the closest variety store each month to spend the few quarters I had saved that month on the latest Tiger Beat magazine, because photos of this adorable man graced page after page.

I couldn’t wait to get the magazine home so I could have Davy all to myself.  Once I’d memorized each photo, I’d invite my similarly-swoony next door neighbors over so we could swoon together for a few more hours. 

I could have sworn that the feelings I had for Davy Jones were the real thing back then and anyone who challenged me, especially bratty older teen brothers and teasy parents, would get an earful if they ever challenged me – which they eventually learned not to do.

Davy even got me into big trouble.  Yes-siree, he did!  I had decided that enjoying photos of Davy in the teen magazines wasn’t enough; I wanted him with me in my (beautifully wallpapered) room at all times!  So I mixed water and flour together to make a thick paste, as a friend from school had taught me to do, and I used that tacky paste to “glue” photo after photo and page after page of Davy onto my bedroom walls until the wallpaper barely peeked through.

When my parents discovered what I had done to the walls of our turn-of-the-century home with the perfectly beautiful (but not to me) turn-of-the-century wallpaper, I was in BIG trouble! 

To this day, I believe that my supposed teeny-bopper schoolgirl crush on Davy Jones was more.  After all, I went on to marry this gorgeous look-alike!

Rest in peace, Davy… my first crush, my first love, my first boyfriend.

My god, it’s encroaching on my map of Louisiana!

True. Sad. Sigh.

Oklahoma, what (on earth) have you done?!

Oklahoma just enacted legislation (HB 2656) which allows a doctor to “withhold information, mislead or even blatantly lie to a pregnant woman and her partner about the health of their baby if the doctor so much as thinks that fetal test results would cause a woman to consider abortion.”

Seriously?

Read that again.  It says that a doctor can LIE to a pregnant woman about the health of her child.  The Oklahoma legislature deliberately discussed and passed a law, allowing this!  So in Oklahoma, if I’m pregnant and have a genetic test, and it indicates that my child has any variety of genetic diseases, some of which would cause his/her death immediately after birth or lead to life in a vegetative state or render my child unable to walk, talk, see, hear, or even think, my doctor is allowed (encouraged, even? otherwise, why even pass legislation?) to LIE to me about MY baby.

It’s sickening!

This is yet another indication to me that America is moving backwards.  My parents immigrated to this country from Europe in the early 1950s because America was progressive, open-minded, and filled with opportunity.  Their grandson, my son, is now considering relocating to Europe after he graduates from college in two years.  It's things like THIS that make that seem like a good option to me, and if I were 20, I'd seriously consider bringing the family back to its European roots too. 

The rest of the world is progressing now while America reverts to closed-mind, fanatical fundamentalism.  This is no longer the country my parents immigrated to almost 60 years ago and, in spite of a progressive, open-minded, smart president (who I still adore and support), it no longer feels like my country.  And I’m sure it no longer feels to my dad like the country he immigrated to as a German Jew who dared to hope for a better life for his family when he immigrated here in the early 50’s.

America, where have you gone?  America, please start THINKING (with reason and compassion) again! 

If you’re a mom, you’ll understand

(A recent IM with a friend:)

Carol says (4:57 PM):
Still no word from my guy, stranded somewhere in Italy (I think).
Ann says (4:57 PM):
oh no!
Carol says (4:57 PM):
He's fine, I'm sure.
Ann says (4:57 PM):
well, he's probably safe, at least.  Just not having things go according to plans.
And what a story he'll have!
Carol says (4:58 PM):
Exactly... he has no choice but to deal.
Ann says (4:58 PM):
yeah - character-building experience!
Carol says (4:58 PM):
Exactly!
Ann says (5:00 PM):
and he's with friends, right?
Carol says (5:00 PM):
Yes, one guy and a bunch of girls.  Poor guy!
Ann says (5:01 PM):
Let me get out my tiny violin....

Ann says (5:08 PM):
let's put it this way: when I look at this picture, I understand why airplanes are not flying in it! 

What is it about our family, Italy, and volcanoes?

Back in 1980, I was in (but not stuck in) Florence when Mt. St. Helens blew… and now Aleks is in (as in, stuck in) Milan because of the volcano-with-the-unpronounceable name!

He and a few friends decided a few weeks ago to head to Venice for the weekend.  They took a flight there last Thursday, then somehow got to Milan (hey, all I get are quick, cryptic Facebook messages, like “I am in Milan, we are f**ked, not sure how to get back to Prague without spending lots of money. I don’t really know what to do but we will figure something out…”), and now, like just about everyone else in Europe, they can’t seem to get any transportation to anywhere. 

So now we all just wait – like everyone else seems to be doing. 

Do I have any readers in Milan who happen to run a hotel or youth hostel which happens to have a few openings?

Correspondence from Aleks in Poland

April 10, 2010

Hey mom,
I can only assume you are just waking up and won't check this email for a bit, or today at all. I just wanted to point your attention to the headlines of the news when you have a chance. There is a lot more to it, but essentially what has occurred is the Polish president, most of his successionary line, and most of the top government officials perished this morning in an plane crash flying into western Russia. Obviously this is not only a tragedy for the world, but me being in Poland this weekend makes it a particularly interesting situation. The nation is upset, but there is no danger at all presented to the program, and we are in entirely safe hands. It's unclear who will follow up the government, but violence and coups we've been assured will not be in part, and would occur in Warsaw, not Krakow.
Hopes this eases any worries you would have had,
Aleks

Thanks for letting us know, Aleks.  Wow, that is so tragic!  Why would the entire government be put on the same plane?  So sad!  I'll look for you on Skype tonight (Mon AM your time) when we get back from Pullman.

Mom,

I'm still in Poland, I'll be back in Prague in about 18 hours, so the first opportunity after then. I've spent the entire weekend at memorials and mourning: on Saturday for the plane accident and the anniversary of the Katyn massacre, and on Sunday at Auschwitz-Birkenau. I was standing in the middle of the gas chamber at Auschwitz I when the nation had a minute of silence for Lech Kazynski and the other victims of the accident.

It was by far the most humbling/depressing experience of my life. I'll tell you more about the weekend in Poland later but it's been one of intense required maturation...
Aleks

The Toyota recall: a personal pit-in-my-stomach story

Tom’s father, Pete -- “Papa” to our kids -- was killed in a single-car accident in November, 2001. 

Pete (“Papa”), his grandson and namesake, Peter, and his son, Tom (1987)

The car was a Toyota Avalon, a 2000 or 2001 model, driven on a clear day and on an open road by Tom’s mother as they headed from San Marcos, California to their desert house in Scottsdale, Arizona.  No one knows exactly what happened, but we do know that Pete and Rose were driving in the left lane when something (what?) caused Rose to lose control and the car flipped multiple times before coming to a stop at the side of the road.  Pete, who had been napping in the passenger seat (and was, of course, wearing a seat belt)died on the scene of head injuries.  Rose was airlifted to San Diego, where she remained in the hospital for a few days. 

For the past nine years, Rose has talked about a “racing engine,” remembering that even after the car came to a stop, the engine remained revving.  I’d assumed that she was confused and that the traumatic circumstances (she was told at the scene by a paramedic that her husband was dead) had impacted her memory. 

But now? 

In light of the Toyota recall, I’m not sure Rose was remembering things wrong at all.  Could it be that, on this open road in clear weather, the accelerator did stick?  Could it be that her memory is correct and that this accident that killed our beloved father and Papa could have been avoided?

Papa and Elisabeth, 1985

Every time I think about it, I feel socked in the gut and helpless.  I am an action-oriented project manager, but this petrifies and paralyzes me – and I can only imagine how it makes Tom and his mother and siblings feel!

 Nana and Papa with Aleks and Kat, 1990

Tom and his parents, 2000

Papa was a quiet and gentle soul, someone who loved deeply and appreciated life fully.  We miss him tremendously -- even now, nine years after his death.  We can never bring him back, but perhaps some closure can be brought to his still guilt-ridden and still  distraught widow who continues to blame herself for Papa’s death.

Papa surrounded by his loving family, 1999

Stupid Deaths in Haiti

No matter what I do or where I go these days, Haiti is on my mind.  If I’m in the shower, I wonder how the people in Haiti are doing without basic sanitation.  When I grab a quick bowl of cereal or a banana, I know that many Haitians haven’t eaten in days and are hungrier than I’ve ever been.  When I pull my yummy German down comforter over my shoulders and snuggle in for a cozy night’s sleep, I am well aware that thousands and thousands of people in Haiti have no bed, no blanket and perhaps even no roof over their heads.

When I think about what the people of Haiti are going through now, I realize how incredibly lucky I was last year when I broke my ankle.  An ambulance was at my house within minutes, I had immediate and excellent care at the ER, and within three days my ankle was put back together by one of the best orthopedic surgeons in the country, if not the world.  The four days in the hospital and subsequent months of rehabilitation were lucky inconveniences for me, one of the fortunate ones. 

For the thousands and thousands of Haitians who are lucky enough to be “only” injured, and not dead, there is little to no hope of the surgery they so desperately need and there is nowhere near enough medicine to treat their pain and antibiotics to stave off the dangers of infection as they lie in makeshift outside “hospitals.” 

And now the “stupid deaths,” as Anderson Cooper calls them, will begin.  Throngs of people will now begin to die completely preventable deaths.  They will die because their wounds are infected.  They will die because they don’t have enough food or clean water.  They will die because help was too long in coming.  They will die because this horrible natural disaster hit in the worst possible place to a country that simply wasn’t prepared for such devastation.

Watching the children of Haiti – those who were already orphans and those who became orphans due to this earthquake – tugs at my heart harder than any other part of this tragedy.  My friend Steve and his wife had already legally adopted a little girl from Haiti but were just awaiting the final stages of the adoption and their daughter’s arrival home.  Now they’re not sure when they’ll see their new daughter.  My hope is that the process will actually be expedited, and I’ve seen some indication on CNN that that’s happening for some of these children.

I remember when children were airlifted from Vietnam in the 70’s… my dad asked my mom, only in half-jest, if we could please adopt a Vietnamese baby.  I was in high school at the time and was all for it, but it never happened of course.  I only half-jokingly asked Tom this morning if we could adopt a Haitian child, should there be a similar airlift.  He looked at me like I was just a bit crazy and reminded me that we have four kids in college right now.  Yeah, I know, but…

I texted five digit numbers to give to the Red Cross and I gave online through the Clinton Foundation, like millions of other Americans and people around the world.  But I have a feeling that no matter how much we give it simply won’t be enough.  How can it be?  How can we, as a country or a country of individuals, help anywhere near enough?

*Photos via Google Images.

My shallowest post ever: my take on the Jon & Kate debacle

When a badly broken ankle confined to me to my bed and to my house earlier this year, I spent an inordinate amount of time watching Jon & Kate Plus Eight, something that I wouldn’t have done before I got hurt and certainly haven’t had time to do since I went back to work full-time in the early Spring. Still, I developed an odd attachment to the show – probably because there was a time when I had four kids under the age of five and I could relate to some of what the Gosselins experienced.

Mostly, though, I watched because I really thought those kids were adorable. They were cute as toddlers and just kept getting cuter and cuter as pre-schoolers. I have a feeling the filming is ending when they’re at the pinnacle of cuteness, which is a good thing.

Honestly, I found Jon and Kate and their antics to be distracting from the beginning, but I must admit that I got sucked in along with millions of other viewers. I cringed when Kate would tell Jon not to “breathe so loud” and when she’d chastise him constantly, no matter what he did. She already had eight kids to mommy and boss around; did he really need to treat Jon like a ninth kid?

When the fervor of their crumbling relationship hit the tabloids, I was spending quite a bit of time in physical therapy and I’ll admit right here (but nowhere else!) that I would look forward to my 12 minutes of TENS therapy, People magazine in hand, drooling over the gossip like the rest of the gossip-crazed reality show addicts out there. (No wait – this was the only reality show I watched… that doesn’t make me an addict, does it?)

And now, six months later, the whole Jon and Kate thing is still in the news! So here’s my take – especially after watching TLC’s interview with whiney, delusional Kate last Monday:

1. Jon is right to put an end to filming. He is correct in his assertion that the kids are being exploited and that it’s gotten to the point that it’s detrimental to the kids.
2. Yes, he signed a contract and yeah, he should be a good citizen and abide by it. But his protectiveness of his kids and his belief that the whole media frenzy is causing harm obviously outweighs his sense of legal obedience. There’s something kinda admirable about that.
3. Kate, on the other hand, seems to care only about herself and her celebrity status. My god, she doesn’t resemble the Kate that started down this road in any way – physically or behaviorally. It’s obvious that she’s in this for herself, kids be damned. I find that disgusting.
4. When asked why she doesn’t just quit the limelight, she said because her kids “deserve life handed to them on a silver platter” and that she must keep herself and her kids in the limelight because that’s the only way to pay the bills. Really? Are you frikkin’ kidding me?
5. I think Kate should go back to school, get a degree, and go to work. If she wants to do occasional appearances with the kids, fine, but limit it to twice a year and the rest of the time work for a living like the rest of us. The kids are in school; this is a very viable option – and would probably repair quite a bit of “future damage” when the kids start understanding and looking back at the whole media craziness.
6. The kids should be everyone’s primary focus. They are not the ones who messed everything up and, although they are why there was a show and why there’s money and fame in the first place, they don’t deserve to be burned because things went so terribly wrong. Right now they need a normal life. It’s the ONLY thing, I believe, that might save them from having some major issues as they grow up from being adorably cute and naive, to being kids who blame themselves and their parents and the media for some real tragedy.
7. I think both Jon and Kate should legally agree to take the media completely out of theirs and their kids’ lives for at least a year. They have enough money to live comfortably for a year, don’t they?

And there you have it – my absolute shallowest post ever! I feel so cheap.

The company I keep

Sonia Sotomayor broke her ankle yesterday. 

Like the rest of us, she doesn’t have a particular exciting story to tell (she fell while rushing for a flight), but unlike the rest of us, the fracture hardly seemed to have put a dent in her 6-meeting day… let alone her week or her month!

Granted, she has a single fracture (whereas I have a triple – Trimalleolar – fracture).  And it doesn’t look like she’ll have any surgery (whereas I had a complicated 8-hour surgery and 4-day hospitalization).  But I can promise you that as she hobbles down those White House halls (she SO needs a knee walker!) with a “no big deal” expression, and as she insists in interviews, “I feel fine,” she’s not being 100% truthful – which, in her particular case might be an issue!

She’s hurting and swollen, I guarantee it.  Her entire foot throbs when it’s not above her heart.  Those days of meeting after meeting must be excruciating!  But her focus right now can’t be on her foot; she has more important things on her mind!  (I do wonder if they recommended surgery and she refused…)

I wish her luck!  Not only in her quest for the Supreme Court seat, but in her broken ankle journey – which I can promise you will be very private and understated in public… and probably more debilitating and significant in private.  (Or not?!)

Confession

I will be unavailable  this evening between 8:00 and 10:00 PM because... because... well, actually, it's because I'm doing some, um, market research regarding a local Seattle dignitary.

Er... personality.

Well... celebrity.

OK, fine -- pop culture icon!  Geeze.

(Jason Mesnik, Kirkland, Washington: ABC's The Bachelor)

Live from Mumbai

Marco says (11:23 AM):
Please pray for our city
Carol says (11:23 AM):
Oh Marco!  I AM!
Carol says (11:23 AM):
Are you OK?
Carol says (11:24 AM):
Is everyone accounted for?
Marco says (11:24 AM):
We're all ok
Carol says (11:24 AM):
It's still happening!
Marco says (11:24 AM):
all accounted for--M, S, D, R
Marco says (11:24 AM):
It's quite scary
Carol says (11:24 AM):
Coordinated... planned. 
Marco says (11:24 AM):
Totally
Carol says (11:24 AM):
Are you in the city now?
Marco says (11:25 AM):
Nope, I'm at home
Carol says (11:25 AM):
Stay home.
Carol says (11:26 AM):
Who (from work) lives downtown?
Marco says (11:26 AM):
We'll be monitoring the situation and will decide a course of action tomorrow
Carol says (11:26 AM):
I'd imagine it wouldn't be a good idea to head to the office...
Marco says (11:26 AM):
D and P, but the attacks have happened all across Mumbai.
Marco says (11:27 AM):
It started off downtown, but has spread to the suburbs as well.
Carol says (11:27 AM):
People are crazy.  99.999% of people are wonderful -- and the other few ruin it for everyone!
Carol says (11:27 AM):
WHAT??
Carol says (11:27 AM):
Spread to the suburbs?  The same terrorists?
Marco says (11:27 AM):
It's happened across 9 locations across the city!
Carol says (11:27 AM):
Stay home.  Please don't go anywhere!
Carol says (11:27 AM):
At the same time?
Marco says (11:28 AM):
At almost the same time. It is most definitely coordinated
Carol says (11:28 AM):
It's now on CNN.  At first, when we first heard of it, we couldn't find it on the news.
Marco says (11:28 AM):
Firing with AK-47 rifles and explosions
Carol says (11:28 AM):
Like, buildings exploding??
Marco says (11:28 AM):
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Terrorists_strike_Mumbai_80_dead_many_hurt/articleshow/3761410.cms
Marco says (11:29 AM):
There have been two explosions in two iconic hotels in downtown Mumbai--the Trident and the Taj
Carol says (11:29 AM):
People with American and British passports at the Oberoi Hotel have been taken away.  So scary!
Marco says (11:29 AM):
And several cases of firings from drive bys--at innocent pedestrians
Carol says (11:29 AM):
Holy shit!  Who are these people?
Marco says (11:30 AM):
No idea. Two have been shot and two captured, so more will be know after they're interrogated
Carol says (11:31 AM):
We will have all of you in our thoughts all day.  None of us can work now.
Carol says (11:32 AM):
Glad Internet is keeping us in touch.  Power not affected?
Marco says (11:32 AM):
Power is fine, but phone lines are jammed
Carol says (11:32 AM):
I'll bet.
Carol says (11:32 AM):
Hey, can I blog this IM?
Marco says (11:32 AM):
Sure thing
Carol says (11:33 AM):
Please do keep in touch and let us know how things unfold.  And do try to get some sleep tonight, if possible.
Marco says (11:33 AM):
Will do
Carol says (11:34 AM):
Is your family OK?  Have you been in touch with all cousins, siblings, etc?
Marco says (11:34 AM):
Yes, everyone is Ok
Carol says (11:35 AM):
Breathe... the rest of the world is concerned for Mumbai and has all of you -- all millions of you -- in our thoughts!
Marco says (11:36 AM):
Thank you, we're praying hard at this time.
Carol says (11:36 AM):
Huge hugs!

This Could Have Been My Daughter!

E-mail from Tom to me:

I don't have Elisabeth's current e-mail address, but she should be aware of this next time she visits Bloomington.

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/16477809/detail.html

(She lived there two summers ago as she trained for her current job.)

E-mail from me to Elisabeth:

Elisabeth, this is your mother speaking...

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/16477809/detail.html

OK, not true. I am speechless (and thankful that this wasn't you).


E-mail from Elisabeth to me:

Holy shit. That seriously could have been me. I jumped off that EXACT cliff at that EXACT spot... Won't do it again, I promise...


And a chat, too:

me: Read your e-mail!

Elisabeth: just did. read yours.

me: Freaky.

Is that where you jumped?

OK, promise...

Elisabeth: exactly the same cliff i jumped off of

"rooftop"

me: Shit...

Elisabeth: that's the quarry we swam at ALL THE TIME

how'd you find that?

me: I have a feeling it'll be closed off -- as it should be.

Dad found it.

Gotta go. Love ya!

Elisabeth: love you too

A 17-Month Old Baby Who (Really) Can READ!

This is truly incredible!

Well Blow Me Down!

The West Coast is known for earthquakes, and Washington State is known for rain and windstorms, but we're not normally concerned about tornadoes around here.



You can imagine the surprise people felt when they heard about this doozie that struck our lovely state yesterday! Now I can't get the "witch on a bicycle" music from the Wizard of Oz out of my head...

More Photos of Seattle Flooding

I left home once today to run to the store to get a few ingredients for the big pot of turkey soup I'm making. When I was at the grocery store I met Debbie, who had just snapped these photos. She was nice enough to send them to me, allowing me to post them so people can see what this region is dealing with right now.

Aleks and Kat's high school is just a stone's throw from where these pictures were taken. No wonder Aleks couldn't get home for about three hours! (Kat is still in sunny San Diego, wearing a t-shirt and playing on the beach!)

Tom came home early today, trying to avoid some other weather-related memories of former commuting misery.

Here's some raw video of some flooding in our town:

http://www.king5.com/video/index.html?nvid=197978&shu=1

California Wildfires

In 1991, my childhood home in the Berkeley hills nearly burned to the ground in this fire. (It was the proximity of our house to the Claremont Hotel, which is an historic landmark, that contributed heavily to it being spared.)

Tonight, fire is surrounding the Northern San Diego community where my kids spent their early years, and where good friends of mine still live. Hundreds of homes have already been destroyed, with more damage expected, and hundreds of thousands of people have been evacuated.

Crews from the Pacific Northwest are headed southward this evening. It'll take them two days just to get there, and the prediction is that things will be even worse when they arrive.

I wish we could send some of this damp Pacific Northwest weather their way!