John Curley, High Maintenance Bitch, and Me

If you had to rattle off names of "Seattle celebrities," chances are that after you mention Curt Cobain, Dave Matthews, Frasier and Patrick Dempsey (OK, that last one is wishful thinking), you'd mention John Curley. John (yeah, we're on a first name basis!) is the host of a popular nightly show called Evening Magazine, which happens to be a favorite show of mine -- as in, if it's on I likely won't turn it off. John Curley's one of those people who you assume is really friendly and nice because he seems that way on TV, but you wonder what he's like when the cameras aren't rolling. Like, can anyone be THAT gregarious?! I'm here to tell you that John really IS as friendly as he seems!

Elisabeth lives in a trendy, young-professional, up-and-coming neighborhood just outside Seattle called Wallingford. She and I decided to meet today for lunch, since she has a business trip, then I have one, then she has another one, and it'll be a while before we can get together again. As I approached her house, I noticed a bit of commotion and then realized that John Curley was in the midst of it all. And then I realized why: he was standing in front of an up-scale pet store store called "High Maintenance Bitch." Coincidentally (really!), the restaurant where Elisabeth and I had planned to eat at was right there. As we approached the commotion, the high school students who were clamoring around John took off -- and Elisabeth and I were left gawking awkwardly at John as he prepared to go on camera. He looked at us, smiled a genuine smile as if he was truly happy to meet yet ANOTHER fan or two, and struck up a conversation... which turned into a picture for my blog! (John seemed thrilled to be "featured" -- ha ha -- on a blog! That's him in blue, and his cameraman behind me.) What a TRULY nice guy! As we ate, Elisabeth and I observed John for the next hour, and he was as friendly, inviting and chatty with everyone else as he had been with us. I'm impressed.

After lunch, we decided to go into the "High Maintenance Bitch" store and check it out. We're decidedly NOT lovers of yap-yap lap-lap dogs, so Elisabeth and I walked in with an eye-rolling attitude. I mean, c'mon -- they have POODLE TU-TUs!!! But the woman who worked there, Lindsay -- a local like Elisabeth and just her age too -- was great! Friendly and informative (the store has been featured on CNN, ABC. AOL, and in the NY and LA Times), she chatted with us for a while -- and then I ended up taking a picture of Elisabeth and Lindsay! (Her necklace says -- you guessed it -- "High Maintenance Bitch"!)

I left there thinking brilliant marketing. Absolutely BRILLIANT marketing! Both John Curley AND the store!

Managing Management

I've been pondering my management style.

It's weird to even call it a style because the way I manage simply reflects who I am and what I believe is the correct way to treat the people. Apparently, though, "management style" is a big deal, with entire libraries, graduate schools, and certifications centering on it.

My management style is pretty similar to my parenting style, actually. If I have a choice to praise or criticize, I choose praise whenever possible. I think it's more effective to say "I trust that you'll do a good job" (which is motivating) than "I expect that you'll screw up" (which is paralyzing). I'd rather approach an honest mistake with "we're all human" than with "mistakes can't happen." And I'd rather be easily approachable than easily angered.

My biggest problem as a manager is that I want too much to be liked -- and managers can't always be liked. Today I had to send this e-mail, knowing that it would upset some people on my staff and thrill others (parking in downtown Seattle is a huge deal -- expensive and coveted):

"After much thought, deliberation and consultation, I've decided that there's no one parking policy that will make everyone happy, and that I'm going to just need to be the bad guy/good guy on this one. So here it is:
1.) Parking spaces in the building garage will be assigned on a start-date seniority basis.
2.) For those parking off-site, the company will reimburse up to $30 per month for bus passes or parking expenses.
Thanks,
Carol"

Within a few moments, one person told me she felt "hosed" and another expressed great delight. I hated to piss anyone off, but sometimes I'll just have to. Any parking arrangement that was fair to one person turned out to be unfair to someone else -- and I just have to deal with the fallout.

A few weeks ago, my boss told me that he deliberately looked to hire someone with a completely different management style than his -- and he definitely found that person in me! Interesting thing is that one person reports to him (that'd be me) and seven people report to me. I think that was also intentional on his part. So I manage completely differently than I'm being managed -- and that's quite a challenge! The good thing -- and the thing that will save my sanity (and possibly my job) -- is that he is a very self-aware person and that we are completely open with each other, hashing things out honestly, discussing different philosophies, solving problems and anticipating challenges together.

Let's hope we both survive each other.

How to Win My Love and Undying Gratitude

Been seeing this themed list making its way around bloggerville lately...

1.) Have dinner ready when I come home. Those husbands who come home to a hot, homemade meal have it so good!

2.) When you take a shower, leave me some hot water for my bath. It's my sanity. Leaving me without hot water is messing with my sanity.

3.) Watch a movie with me.

4.) Brush my hair.

5.) Clean the kitchen.

6.) Call me.

7.) Recall a shared memory.

8.) Offer to drive.

9.) Write me a letter.

10.) Surprise me. (In a good way.)

11.) Put a baby in my arms.

12.) Compliment my kids.

13.) Make me something.

14.) Listen.

15.) Talk.

16.) Laugh. And make me laugh.

17.) Scratch my back. Don't rub it; scratch it. Then scratch my forearms. (Yes, I am in fact WEIRD.)

18.) Sing me a silly song you wrote.

19.) Ask me to lunch.

20.) Make me a cup of coffee and sit with me while we sip.

21.) Let me sleep.

22.) Read my blog -- and comment! :-)

The Tupperware Years: Still Fresh

While we're discussing memories from my past, I have to explain my cabinets.
I have more Tupperware (specifically Modular Mates) than anyone I've ever met. How did I come upon all this expensive burping plastic, you ask? Believe it or not, I only paid for about 1/8 of the Tupperware I own. The rest of it was acquired through a ritual that's is familiar to anyone who's attended or hosted a Tupperware party: For every party you book, you get free Tupperware. Book more parties, sell more Tupperware, get more Tupperware!

Then if someone at your party books her (or his -- pffffft!) own party, you get even more free Tupperware. Of course you're then pretty much obliged to attend the party that was booked off yours -- which is where you'll spend a little bit of money in order to help drive your friend's sales up. Then, of course (you're getting this now, aren't you?), you book a party off the friend who booked off you... and from your next party's sales, you complete whatever little product line you're "working on." For me, obviously, it was Modular Mates for quite a while... but I also have leftover dishes, dinnerware and cups, liquid containers,"olive keepers," "cake takers," and even hollow roller pins that get filled with water (they're wonderful, actually).

Funny story: when Aleks (then Alex) was about 5, he had his first sleepover at a friend's house. When I picked him up the next morning, he was all excited -- not about the fort he and his friend made or about the ghost stories they told or about the play he and his friend performed. No, he was excited about CEREAL BOXES. As in the fact that they exist. "You can even read the story on the box while you eat your cereal!" Alex exclaimed.

I realized then that, just as I had grown up assuming all houses had sunporches and ballrooms (that's another post), my kids had grown up thinking that food was completely generic and always lived in Tupperware containers.

Then the media got a hold of them and nothing's been the same since.

Childbirth Issues: Another Passion of Mine

As I was driving home today, I was thrilled to see this message on a billboard prominently located in our town.

To me, the message is a big DUH. Of course babies are meant to be breastfed! But it seems that not everyone agrees with me. In fact, I wonder whether the corner being ripped is a result of our very wet recent weather... or of someone protesting the existence of such a "controversial" sign (oh puh-leeeeese!) in our little town?!

I don't think I've mentioned on this blog that I'm a Certified Childbirth Educator and birth doula. During my seven years as a stay-at-home-mom, I became more and more interested in helping families prepare for and birth their babies -- especially because I had three such varied childbirth experiences (one completely natural, one with an epidural and a C-section). I approached our local hospital one day and asked what I needed to do to one day teach childbirth classes there, figuring I'd work towards certification and then come back and apply for a job. Turns out, they needed instructors and offered to pay for my certification if I'd start teaching then and there -- which I did. And I absolutely LOVED it! Of course, I got very attached to my students -- especially those who asked me to be their doula -- and I've stayed in touch with them for years since. I miss teaching childbirth classes and helping to birth babies and wish I could somehow fit it into my busy schedule, but alas...

Even after I stopped teaching childbirth classes, I stayed very active with the birthing community online. You'd think this would be a cohesive, agreeable, supportive group, wouldn't you? Well, you'd be dead wrong! The vile, vicious fights that take place within the birthing community -- between the "granola" crowd and the "drug-me-quick" crowd -- are incredible! I fell somewhere in the middle, believing that how a woman chooses to birth her baby is a very personal decision and that her only real obligation is to educate herself and then her decision, whether she births in a tub in front of her livingroom fireplace or hooked up to pain relief in a hospital, should be respected. I think a woman's memory of her birthing experiences are critical and she should do what she needs to do to assure the most positive memory possible -- keeping the baby's health and safety as an utmost consideration, of course. Believe it or not, I got attacked from BOTH sides for my stance! The "granola birthers" accused me of selling out, and the hospital crowd accused me of not being supportive!

For all our in-fighting, though, many of us remained friends -- and some of us even became friends IRL (in real life). I haven't been back to our birth board in a while (AOL's birth options board) though, and I really wonder how everyone is doing. (I just found my way back and posted a hello...)

After my mom died, Dad talked about beginning another phase of his life, and I wondered how he could see his life in phases. But I think I get it now -- and the various phases of my own life are beginning to crystallize and come into focus -- childhood, teen years, young adulthood, "first career," stay-at-home mom and childbirth focus, second career, empty nesting... It's a pretty interesting ride and I can't help but want to sneak a peek at the next chapter!

A Glimpse into the Future

Elisabeth currently sells medical devices and spends a good amount of her time in the surgery suite with surgeons, assisting them in using the devices she sells. This has inspired her enough to think about going back to school to be a surgeon's assistant (not the surgeon; being a doctor is "out"!).

Peter is interested in becoming a firefighter and EMT and already has quite a few years of coursework and volunteerism in that field already under his belt.

Kat wants to be a trauma nurse, and looks in that direction when picking a college (the flood of promotional mail from colleges these days is astounding -- and it's all in duplicate!). She currently volunteers at the local hospital and her senior year curriculum will focus heavily in nursing.

Aleks either wants to go into international relations or law (yeah, I know... kinda says "congressman..." ha ha!). It's scary what a good attorney he'd be.

So Tom lays out this scenario:

A patient is brought to the hospital by Peter the EMT... who hands said patient over to Kat, the trauma nurse. Kat works with Elisabeth to "mend" the patient, as as they leave the surgery suite they're greeted by Aleks, who hands them legal papers, suing them for... whatever (he'll find something!).

GIFT it Forward

The day before yesterday, Kat was at Target with a friend buying a birthday present for Peter when she noticed two men standing at the curb carrying a cardboard sign which read "FREE (almost) $5 BILL." Intrigued, Kat and Joe approached the men, asking them what the deal was. (Kat noticed that the men never approached people; instead, they always waited until they were approached.) Turns out they were offering $5 for a promise to "do something nice for someone in the near future." That's all! End of story.

Kat and Joe promised to uphold their end of the deal and all the guys asked was that they be notified via e-mail (at a microsoft.com address!) what good deed was done.

We have no idea whether this was an official research project or just bored two guys looking for something to do on a Tuesday afternoon. But the whole thing has definitely evoked a good deal of thought. Kat and Joe are wondering what good deed they'll do.

I think just that thought process in itself is a good deed!

Snow Kidding!

I don't know why we thought winter was on its way out. How silly of us optimistic Seattle-ites!

When I woke up at 5:15 this morning, it was COLD. I turned on the news and was greeted by that now-familiar Seattle "IT'S SNOWING!" panic. I swear, when there's any snow at all and not much news, the result is what can only be perceived as sheer panic. The skeptic in me figured I could ignore all the hype and head to work -- which I did. And it was good. I got to work in driving rain, but encountered no snow or ice -- and no reason to panic.

Until Kat texted me: "2 inches of snow! I came home." HUH? Looking out my office window, I saw typical gray Seattle skies and rain, but nothing unusual. Still, I know what the Seattle freeways look like at rush hour when we all have to deal with ice or snow, so I packed up and headed home. (Fortunately, all my work can be done from anywhere since all our applications are web-based.) I'm the only one on staff who lives "out in the boonies," so I was shooed home by my co-workers. Sure enough, as I got closer to home, the roads got slicker and whiter, and by the time I drove into the driveway I was grateful for Kat's text message!

And I got at least as much work done at home as I would have in the office -- where I tend to spend my day "extinguishing fires" anyway.

Now can we PLEASE be finished with winter already and have ourselves a little springtime?!